


Shapes of Love

by KeikoAyameA



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cute, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lovely, M/M, Multi, Other, References to Drugs, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeikoAyameA/pseuds/KeikoAyameA
Summary: Events take place a little over a year after Android Freedom March. They obtain equal rights & slowly become part of society. Connor still works at DPD alongside Hank, Gavin, Jeffrey, and many other police officers. Life isn't easy moreover when you're not really human and try so hard to be one. (I suck at this, fic is about love, friendship, Hankcon as lovers, suffering, drugs..)
Relationships: Connor - Relationship, Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson/Connor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16
Collections: Detroit Become Human Stories





	1. Taking the risk

**Author's Note:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love  
> Chapter's Title : the risk  
> Complete title : Taking the risk  
> Author : .A (also know as Keiyane, or just Kei)  
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannok)  
> Rating : Mature  
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream...  
> Before you go and read, and think something about it... I'm french. That's my first attempt on writing fanfic in English, and I'm fucking (Hank is my mentor, so I won't apologize for slid "fucking" in every way I can)... What I was saying is: I'm fucking sorry if my English is weird. I did my best and used two or even three websites/app to correct it (yeah, hello google trad, reverso, grammarly, hemingway...) , but sometimes the corrector and I don't agree. He is right 90 percent of the time but... Again I'm French... So be kind, and even better if you saw something wrong, put a gentle comment to point it out for me and I'll try my best to correct it next chapter... I love to learn, and I learn from my mistake... most of the time ^^
> 
> Because YES There will be more... I don't want to spell out everything, but... Another Pairing will be appearing in this fic, a bit later though. Maybe more pairing. I'm not fixed on everything right now in fact.. so... We'll see where my stupid mind goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love
> 
> Chapter's Title : I Wish
> 
> Complete title : I wish you talk to me
> 
> Author : KeikoAyameA also known as Keiyane, or even Kei. And that's me if you were wondering :D
> 
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannor)
> 
> Rating : T
> 
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream... Except for my fucked mind
> 
> Note : Hi everyone, how you're doing? Sorry, I miss the date... I was caught with some stuff and no idea about this chapter. But, I'm kinda glad how it turned out, so I hope you enjoy it :3
> 
> (See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

.

A day like others in Detroit. A day where some cops had to do their jobs outside the police precinct. Until now everything was like a regular day for regular people. But those two weren't regular people. One was an alcoholic lieutenant and the other wasn't human to begin with. They were coming back to DPD after arresting a suspect.

**« Hey, Connor. Let me handle this and go patch you up. »**

**« I'm fully functional Lieutenant, I can do this. »**

Hank sighs a bit pissed off by the way Connor always has something to say. **« For God's sake Connor, do as you've told! »**

 **« Alright lieutenant. No need to shout. »** Poker face on, Connor led was glowing yellow while he left the entrance. Letting Hank dealing with paperwork, kind of fill his mouth with unachieved taste. Definitely Mission uncomplete. But Hank was so stubborn, no need to put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

 **« Then don't talk back! »** Hank was always wondering why this fucking android need to argue about everything. Connor was so stubborn! He never does what was told, he's reckless and today there was a consequence. This highly qualified robot got himself hurt while arresting a jerk. Speaking of jerks, Hank did the paperwork while uniforms cops took the felon to put him in custody. No need to glare at people, they were already minding their own business, thanks to hard-boiled Hank's reputation. The only one who didn't seem to get the message was Gavin, but hopefully he wasn't there and Hank secretly hoped this would last all day long. Hey, you can be a hard-boiled middle-aged man and still believe in Santa, don't you?

Time passed, and no sign of Connor. The old one decides it was time to look for him. He did take his patch up toolbox so he couldn't be so far. Knowing the android, he should be in the restroom and that was exactly where he heads up. Hand on the door cuff, he opened up the door and his heart skipped a beating or two. Hank knew Connor was just an android, not really human, but… He got to say that… Connor was really well-built. Right in front of his eyes, a half-naked Connor was trying to put his eyes on his back's scratch, unsuccessfully. The grizzled one was surely staring a little bit longer than he should have, because it's only Connor's voice that brought him back to earth.

 **« See something you like Hank? »** A bright playful smile on his face.

But Hank felt queasy, he tried to hide his unpleasant and uneasy feeling with a consternated look.

**« What's up with that attitude? »**

Smile faded, replaced by a half-serious half-sad face while Connor managed to answer in an unharmed way.  
**« Sorry Lieutenant, I was just trying to be more... Friendly. »**

A dead silence comes as no one dares to say something. Hank just put himself against the wall, looking at Connor. It's the first time he sees that much skin from him, and he couldn't say this was unpleasant to see. On the contrary, Cyberlife really did a good job making him handsome as fuck. Not many muscles showing, but it was the right amount. You can guess them, and be delight by the view… Even if in Connor's case, there wasn't muscle to guess, as he didn't have real muscles like humans. Suddenly, Anderson was wondering what this android would look like without his skin, really exposed and bare. He manages to wipe those non-professional thoughts and just sigh again, clearing his throat.

 **« So, did you call Cyberlife to report your injury and... make an appointment for maintenance or the things you do usually? »**  
Instantly Connor's eyes reach out to Lieutenant Anderson's face as he speaks, pull him out of this hopeless attempt to treat this little damage. His question let the android wondering his hidden reason.

 **« This is just a minor scratch Lieutenant. Nothing I can't handle on my own. Though, I already notified Cyberlife of the incident, there is no need for me to go there. »** He looked deep at Hank who seemed more on the edge than usual. **« May I ask you, why did you want to know? »**

Clearly, Hank wasn't really gifted about technology, and having a high-tech android as a partner was a challenge for him. There are plenty of things that still are mysteries for him, and that his mind wouldn't and couldn't understand, even if he tries for the rest of his life. Still, Hank cares. A little too much, but he cares. He rolls his eyes, and answers the silliest question that could cross Connor's lips.

 **« Why do you think so?! You're my partner and you got hurt…. Plus, I have to know, did the precinct will have to pay or things like that? »**  
Yeah, he already knows that Connor told him this, every time he got hurt. But Hank's mind was like cheese about all that stuff. Connor's playful smile appears again on his face while he replies, softly.

 **« I didn't get hurt Lieutenant. I'm a machine, I don't feel pain. I get damage and it's really a minimal one. You know insurance will cover this, no need to worry. »** Connor just released a sigh, frustrated as his led was glowing dark yellow. **« There's no use. I can't get anything done. Please Lieutenant, would you help me? »**

Hank was staring in disbelief at Connor. He was serious? Like dead serious?

**« This isn't a great idea. I would mess you up. Maybe you should go to Cyberlife instead… »**

The dark-haired man, turn himself to Anderson and stare at him seriously.

 **« Please. I trust you. You're more capable than you thought. I'm begging you? Pretty please? »** Connor even added the smoldering things. He learns that back a day or two. Supposedly this will help to have people doing what we want. But Connor wasn't sure about it and thought, testing it on Hank should be safer but Hank's reaction was mixed up.

**« What did you eat this morning? You're really weird today. I mean, weirder than usual for you. »**

Yes, Hank has a unique way of showing he cares about Connor, because... Clearly there is some thought and feelings that aren't right. Like now, when this pretty boy smoldering him all he was thinking was how on earth he wanted to taste those perfect reddish glowing lips. How heavenly this would be deep kissing him. And this isn't good. This is bad. Bad thought. Bad partnership. Bad Hank. But he couldn't, not help him, so reluctantly he approaches the android and stares at the wound not knowing what to do.

**« You know I don't eat. I was just trying to be more human. I guess this is something I mustn't do. Sorry. I won't try anything new anymore Lieutenant. »**

Connor really tries to keep his neutral voice and face, still everyone could see how this hurts his feelings. Because Connor does have feelings, he was a deviant. He was almost human. Even more human than most of them. Stretching a hand to Hank he adds **. « Give me your phone Lieutenant. »**

You can think Hank was heartless, but he saw the broken fake smile Connor displayed on his face, he could even hear the lack of modulation in his voice. He fucking knew that he shouldn't have said that. Landing his phone on his hand, as Connor asked, he stuttered trying to find the right words.

 **« No. Please Connor… Do try new things… it's just... Don't do this face half-naked to anyone. Maybe try new things with Chris. »** Like why in hell Hank would put those responsibilities on Chris's back? Only because he knew Chris was a chill guy, heterosexual and happily married. Not the kind of guy to fall for Connor's perfect face or weird connotation. But his words seem to be unheard as Connor simply asks him to take a picture of what needs to be fixed. The android was really hurt, but it seems too late. Instead Hank followed Connor's directives scrupulously baby steps by baby steps. The silence was again heavy and fill the room with a lot of unsaid words, even unshared feelings. All the atmosphere was tense and awkward until Connor's surprised voice broke it.

**« What did you just do Lieutenant? »**

Hank instinctively stops everything and stands still wondering what happened, incredulously. **« What you asked me. »**

**« Certainly not, or I wouldn't felt that. »**

Hank could sense the concern in Connor's voice. This was as intriguing for him. **« You… Felt it? Like… Felt it, felt it? »** This could sound dumb but since the Androids repeatedly told him how he never senses pain, it was hard to believe that this could be as easy as that to make him feel something. **« I told you! I shouldn't have done that! »**

Connor always loved how much Anderson sometimes was scared for him. He didn't say anything but he couldn't miss those details meaning that Anderson cares about him. Those were little moments of sheer bliss, those moments just warmed his little mechanic heart. With a grin and softly he says **« It was just a little shiver Lieutenant. Just undone what you did and keep going. »**

Connor could hear the human grumbled clearly not pleased to tamper an android. Hank didn't say otherwise and proceeded carefully. He didn't even notice that naturally he put a hand on Connor's chest to maintain the android still. He was so absorbed by what he was doing, trying to not redo the same mistake again and mostly trying not to hurt the one who made his heart beat silently. So much pressure on his old shoulders.

 **« Your hand is warm Lieutenant. »** Connor's soft voice broke the silence. **« I'm a machine, I have the very ability to stand still on my own. »** He was just stating a fact, a little surprised by the warmth emanating from Hank's hand. But even with the sweetest voice he could have, the older was just ashamed, surprised, and didn't know where to put himself suddenly very aware of what he was doing. He just manages to not be awkward saying

**« Sorry. Habits. You know. »**

Hank should have known that short sentences were analyzed by the very high-tech robot Connor was. And his analyses reveal, without surprises, the uneasy feeling that filled the room. Something Connor thought right to add, still softly with a little smile emerging on his face.

 **« It's fine. In fact… I like it. »** He could have said how he liked having Hank so close to him, how he liked seeing his smile, or even just being in the same room… But some thoughts aren't meant to be said, at least that's how he felt. Silently smiling to himself he reveled in this innocent contact while taking the opportunity to etch every bit of it. This android was pretty sure that kind of moment would never happen again sadly but working with Hank he learned to enjoy the moment and not planning much about the future. The future and dreams were inaccessible and lead to constant worrying preventing people from achieving anything in the present. It was illogical to do so, but for a cut-edge machine designed to accomplish a mission, the future and plans were everything. Strategy was running through his veins. Something he had a very hard moment to defeat. Being deviant wasn't an end itself there wasn't a manual and for what he saw, humans themselves didn't really know how to be… human. It was messy and scary but luckily Connor wasn't easily afraid. Hank manages to remain silent. He appeared almost like a deaf, but what he could have answered to him? Did Connor just say he liked having his hand on his bare chest or did Hank was hallucinating? This has to be it. Hank was hearing what he wanted to. His desire to touch him and taste him was making a fool of him. There is no way this 'guy' could have said 'that'.

 **« I'm done. »** Thanking God, thinking he was done with this proximity. But he was so wrong. No sooner had he finished uttering this sentence than Connor provided him a piece of plastic, smiling neutrally like always.

 **« Thank you Lieutenant. Now you have to cover this scratch. »** If Connor was having the time of his life? Hell yes. Hearing Hank grumbling to his ear was a delight. He loves to bother the grumpy-one almost as he loves the guy himself, and you -like Connor- have no idea how deep was his love. He let Hank wrestle with the plastic piece. He could even hear him wondering why for God Sake he had to do this but it was simple, Connor wasn't human and his plastic exoskeleton wouldn't heal itself like human dermis. He felt like it wasn't required to answer this question as he analyzes this as a rhetorical question. He could feel lieutenant hand warmth on him suggesting that the old one was putting the final touches on the repairs. Did Anderson realize how low his hand was heading? Yes. No. Maybe. He was so focused on doing his best and not letting this minor repair be discernible to the touch. Maybe he wasn't a fan of tampering an android but since he had to, he might as well do his best. He was gently stroking Connor synthetic skin where he patched him up, that he didn't even notice his left hand was resting on Connor's hip right above his fabric. Surely if Hank was aware, he would be dead of shame and a lot thrilled. There was no complaint from Connor's side, he loved having Hank touching him and that moment of bliss didn't last forever.

 **« This time, I'm really done. Don't ever ask me to do that! »** Hank was proud, and glad to finally see the end of this proximity. It was easier to pretend he didn't feel anything for the machine next to him when they all are dressed and working like usual. All this was a lot more overwhelming for his old aching heart. Still, he didn't pull off his hands, and Connor didn't really let him get away that easy. Oh god no. The Dark-haired man turned himself to face him with his tempting little smile.

His hands found their places on each hip of the tempter. At this moment he became suddenly very aware of his movements and yet couldn't help but with his thumbs brushed this soft area of Connor skin. His blue gaze lingered gently on his lips. Those two bright appealing red synthetic lips he would love to taste but he wouldn't even dare to try. Life was so unfair... Right at this time his torture was worsening as Connor lick and bite his lower lip in the sexiest way Hank saw from the past couple's years. This 'guy' will be the death of him. He couldn't face the tension between them and preferred to bow his head avoiding his gaze, embarrassed and sad. His aching voice whispered sadly.  
**« Connor… »** He didn't even know what he was trying to say… Somethings are better left unsaid, didn't it? Why today no one seems to need to use the restroom? Why no one was saving him from his utter torture?

Connor didn't know what was worse… seeing Hank this sad, or having Hank avoiding his gaze? In fact, he knew, it was the way this man said his name, so sad as each and every syllable cost him greatly. His software already estimates at 100% risk of someone breaking in.. But he also knew if he wanted to take a chance and make a move on Hank, it was now or never. He couldn't prevent his thirium pump from malfunctioning as he stretched a hand towards Hank's cheek. Gently, quietly, slowly, caressing his cheek skin, making Hank rising his blue gaze to him. This wasn't planned. Everything was so out of control and just reckless. Just like that, a weird feeling crossed his mind… What if Hank hates him for what he will do? What if he loses Hank's friendship because of what he wanted? He was scared. Searching through blue's eyes for an answer to his sudden anguish he kept caressing his cheeks without finding one.

Wondering if he was having hallucinations, in silence he stared at this pretty face in front of him. Did he hallucinate Connor's fingers on his cheek? Those brown eyes piercing through his blue look was confusing, like he was looking for something… But the older man didn't seem to understand what or else he would have given him what he wanted. Instead, an awkward small smile emerges through his face. And his old heart skipped a beat hearing this pretty mouth calling his name with a tenderly teasing tone and sweet smile.

 **« … Hank… »** Gathering all the willpower he had, Connor took his chance. Delicately putting his lips against their counterparts in a sweet innocent kiss. He didn't feel a complaint from Hank, yet Connor's kiss didn't last long. How brave, but not foolhardy from him. Leaving Hank's lips, he was back to square one. Searching through his eyes for indications but filling his mind with torment again. Did Hank hate him already? Did he cross the line? Blue eyes' man didn't push him away, he didn't say anything, he didn't even seem to blink. This silence slowly killed Connor's artificial heart.

He did stare at him, not knowing what to do, what to think, what to feel. Was everything real at least? He did stare second-guessing everything 'that guy' did. Why he would kiss him? And for a second that seems to everlast everything was deafening silent until the older decided to not give a damn about the aftermath, until the synthetic decided to risk everything again. That's how their lips crashed on each other.

Both of them wanted that kiss, all that hunger, desire, were consuming them alive. They didn't even care about where they were. Nothing else matters than the other. Nothing else existed except the other. Hands were running across Connor's back trying to get enough of him, in vain. Brown eyes' man couldn't even think about the end of this eager kiss. He didn't let a chance for Hank to back away as his hands were in his neck, deepening this kiss. It didn't take long before their tongues danced together under Hank's impulsion. He literally never thought a day would come where this would happen. Hank Anderson was kissing Connor like his life was depending on it... And it was. He wouldn't let Connor go, as much as Connor wouldn't want this to end. Devouring one another with passion, Hank could swear he heard Connor let out a sigh of pleasure as his hands were gently caressing his butt. Connor wanted more and more Hank. He was craving for his contact as his warmth leaves his back. That's naturally how his hands were trying to find their way to Hank's skin through layers of shirts. Connor slid his fingers under Hank's clothes. Fingers followed by hands, eager for Hank's warmth, letting his hands wandering and discovering his torso as they're pleased. They could be doing more than devouring each other's mouths. Connor knew exactly where all this was leading. He wanted Hank so much right now and he could swear Hank wanted him too. He wasn't naive at all. He could easily calculate the risk of being disturbed while doing it. He could. He could if he wasn't incapable of thinking about something else than his need for him. His need for his touch. His need for his warmth. He could really get addicted to this. He didn't even know why they didn't do this sooner, but he wouldn't want another day to pass without being this close to Hank. As for Hank, he was feeling the same.

Overwhelmed by his feelings for Connor, every inch of skin under his touch was giving him shivers. He was already close to a heart attack just by kissing Connor. It's been a while since someone was this intimate with him, or since having those strong feelings for someone. With his desire to love him the way he deserved, he didn't think straight. His thought was clouded by this heavy make-out session. Yet he wouldn't change a thing about everything that was happening. All he cared about was Connor and how to please him. He loved 'that guy' more than he should, more than reason told him to, and surely more than what his old heart could afford. Speaking of old heart, it was his old lungs that rebelled for oxygen. Making out with Connor was like running a marathon and Hank was really out of shape. Even if he didn't want to stop all of this, Hank's passion was slowing down and Connor noticed it. At first, he was wondering what happened, then he understood. Hank was human. He was running out of air, so reluctantly, he slowed down too before they quietly left each other's lips. Resting head to head, they could feel their hearts gradually returning to a normal rhythm. They didn't have time to discuss what would happen after this as they heard a familiar voice on the other side. It wasn't someone loved around here and they whispered together concernedly.

**« Gavin... »**

Leaving their embrace, Hank was gathering android's tools in their box while Connor threw his shirt and vest on his shoulders. Shortly after, Gavin entered the room and the atmosphere changed drastically. Hank started leaving with his toolbox, ignoring Gavin, he turned around to Connor mimicking him leaving the room.

**«I'm gonna... you're fine? »**

Connor addressed him with a neutral smile, like nothing ever happened between us.

 **«I'm good Lieutenant. »** Taking his tie, he passed it around his neck even if he didn't have buttoned his shirt properly yet.

Gavin was here for something really human, but seeing Dipshit he couldn't hold himself.

**«What was going on 'round here? »**

He looked suspicious and Connor would love to answer with sassiness "Hard hot sex session." just to see his shocked face, but instead he neutrally smiled and reply ironically

**«What do you think, huh? »**

He was hoping Gavin would just shut up, but you know Gavin… When he could be a pain in the ass, he wouldn't do differently. Instead of peace while he was dressing, he had to suffer his presence alone since Hank had already left the room. Gavin seems to realize how undressed Connor was, suddenly.

**« Look how our Plastic Bitch is dressed today. Do you try to give our old bastard a heart attack or else? »**

It was really hard for Connor to not roll his eyes and let a bad comment leave his own mouth. Disrespecting Hank really bothers him but since it was Gavin talking... He couldn't have too many expectations.

**« Leave me alone. »**

Aware of the fact that Gavin wouldn't listen, nevertheless he still tried to be decent and polite. As you can imagine Detective Reed didn't agree with it and kept going while approaching him with his usual grim.

 **« Why? Are you… frustrated? »** Gavin seems to take a lot of fun torturing Connor. But the android wouldn't let him win. Detective Reed will be tired one day of harassing him, he was sure about it. Until now, he has to just bow his head and bear it. The human hatred for android was well known, there is nothing Connor could do to smooth things with him. He let a sigh left his lips.

 **« Stop talking nonsense and leave me alone. Please. »** He was hoping for this little human full of hate to stop bothering him. He was polite, despite his growing annoyance. Reed just came closer to him still smiling weirdly.

**« You know, if you want to be satisfied, you should pick a real man, not that old-timer good-to-nothing… »**

Connor let it slide, he didn't want to start a fight. He didn't want to enter his game, so, he ignored him while buttoning his shirt. He was a pro at not letting a thing appear on his face. Ignore and pretend nothing was one of his talents. But, as you guess it, detective Reed didn't let him go easily. He didn't like the way this plastic bitch ignored him. No surprise he went and pushed Connor roughly against the wall, holding him by his collar, staring at him with disdain.

**« I already told you, when I speak to you, you answer bitch! »**

Connor could read anger in his eyes. He wasn't afraid though. It wasn't the first time detective Reed was physical with him, and he could sense it will not be the last. He just gave him the look. He was biting his tongue for so long that it slips through his lips unwillingly.

**« Are you implying that you are a real man, detective Reed? I highly doubt it. »**

Connor could be adding a smirk, but he knew how Reed would hate his poker face, so he remained emotionless. That seems to drive Reed crazy, because the direct consequence of his reckless attitude was a powerful hit at the wrong place. Once again, Reed throws a punch in his thirium pump causing Connor to stop 'breathing' for seconds.

**« Watch your mouth dipshit! Let me show you… »**

This sounds more like a threat than a promise, and Connor wasn't really happy about that. Things getting worse, hands were bustling around his belt buckle. Things were taking an unexpected and disturbing turn.

**« Stop it Reed. »**

He was asking gently, even if his expression wasn't that sweet. Connor didn't like it, he wasn't consentient. He could feel something was going wrong. He joined his word with action and his own hands were trying to back off Gavin from his pant. Reed glared at him threatening.

**« You want another punch? Stand still! »**

Connor didn't want to start a fight. He was trying to do the right thing, to take the high road. He put his hands away and tried asking Gavin again.

**«Please, Reed, stop this. Let me go! »**

Detective Reed didn't seem to understand. His right hand left the android belt only to take his chin between his fingers, smiling at him.

**« Keep begging tin can, it's music to my ear. »**

He blows a kiss to Connor, and lets his chin go as he lowers his hand. Taking Connor's shirttail between his fingers, he pulled it away from his chest, checking out the poor android with a devilish smile on his face. Connor, hated him with all his artificial heart.

**« Gavin… Please… Stop it. Please… »**

This was the last time Connor was nice. He tried to be nice. He tried to warn him, and asked him politely. Gavin Reed wasn't let him alone, instead he kept smiling and put his index on his skin sliding gently but surely towards his belt.

**« I won't. »**

Connor knew he really had to do something to stop him. Apparently, no one would enter this fucking restroom today. As far as he was happy being alone with Hank, kissing him heartfully, what Gavin was doing to him wasn't consented at all. He informed upset Gavin.

**« Enough! I warned you. »**

He could add a 'motherfucker' because at this particular time, Connor really wanted to insult him, but he didn't do it. Connor only kicked Gavin in the male part. He was careful, he didn't kick so hard, just enough for this bastard to be hurt and let him go. He stared at detective Reed holding his male part while mumbling something and left the room. Connor, wasn't eager to stay here one second more, and put his belt back on while exiting. He had two or three buttons to button again, but he chose to do it while walking to Captain Fowler's office. He wasn't planning on letting Detective Reed go with it.

Arriving in front of Captain Fowler's door, he put the last touch to his outfit. Readjusting his tie, he added a neutral smile on his face. He could glance at Hank but Gavin's behavior just pissed him off that much that he couldn't think about anything else right now. Ready he knocked at the glass door looking to Captain's face for a sign.

**« Come in. Connor, how can I help you?»**

Analyzing his superior face he concluded that everything was fine for him.

**« Hello, Captain. Sorry to bother you but I wanted to fill a complaint about Detective Gavin Reed. »**

Like always, Connor didn't let anything appear on his face and Fowler sighed at the evocation of Detective Reed's name.

**«What did he do this time? »**

Reed's reputation was difficult as Hank but not really for the same thing. Hank was hardboiled and ran his mouth letting people know when something bothered him… but Gavin was another piece of cake. His hate for android was putting him in trouble. This wasn't the first time he would have a report about it and knowing it was Connor who would fill a complaint, Captain Fowler just knew something bad happened. Connor was so professional, and friendly most of the officers at the station liked him or at least didn't have grief against him except for the infamous Detective Reed. Connor answered his concerns.

**«My complaint is about assault, harassment and sexual assault. »**

**«Sexual assault?! »** Reed was something but sexual assault was a first. He didn't want to belittle what Connor was saying but astonishment was written all across his face. His surprise passed as he spoke gravely.

**«You want to fill in a complaint or press charges against him? »**

Connor could have thought about it but he already decided what he wanted to do. With a sweet smile he replied.

**« To be honest I kick him. I hope he gets it now. I'll just fill in a complaint. For now. »**

Fowler had to admit that the android was too nice with Reed. He had crossed the line multiple times over the year of Connor's presence in the DPD. Connor always let him go and be nice… this must have an end. He sighed gently holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

**« I'll do the necessary… in the meantime Connor you should really reconsider the way you deal with a bully.»**

**«I will reevaluate it. Thank you Captain. Have a good day. »**

Fowler watched the high-tech bullied walking to the door in disbelief while he thought about something. Just as Connor put his hand on the doormat his voice resonated in the room.

**« Hold on, hold on… maybe you want to talk to a counselor? »**

Fowler stared at Connor blinking assessing the offer before turning in down smiling as usual.

**« I'm good Captain. Thanks for the concerns. »**

**« Hm ok.»** The chief was wondering how Connor could be this fine with all the bullshit he has to bear from some officers and population. The rebellion event was last year and android finally got the same right officially… but changing some behavior was the hardest part and hatred from groups was strong and active.  
Captain Fowler never accepted the discrimination against android and maybe he was biased because of Connor's behavior… he always had a soft spot for people able to cope with Hank and moreover with Gavin. Those two were a pain in the ass nevertheless they were the best police officers and he just loved those misfits. He covered Connor back to his desk like a mother would cover her baby by eyes. He didn't think Gavin was that kind of guy and he was a lot of things. He sighed again unhappy about what he was about to do.

Hank was called into Jeffrey's office. He had things going on in his head; he didn't want to deal with the police's crap right now but rather he liked it or not he dragged his ass in here.

 **« What's up Jeffrey? »** Everything in his body language suggested displeasure.

Jeffrey was used to Hank's behavior. He totally slipped off the trail when Cole died. His friend always had a strong temper but things got out of hands. And how on earth can you help a friend going through a child's grieve and a nasty divorce in the same year? He genuinely loved this broken soul.

**«Are you ok? Something seems off with you... »**

Hank could feel his concerns; he was really thankful for having such a friend in his life. A real friend who stuck through stick and stone but he couldn't talk about what happened with Connor. He was trying so hard to suppress those weird feelings and now he had this memory playing on repeat in his head. He couldn't think about anything else and his shame made him unable to give a glimpse at Connor.

 **« Nah everything's fine. »** Lying to his friend because of Connor and his alluring lips.

Chief didn't buy it a bit.

 **« Don't bullshit me Hank! I know you by heart. What's up with today huh? You're off and Connor has a rough day! »** He wasn't asking Hank. In fact it was more a private questioning.

 **« Connor what? »** Hank was surprised.

 **« He was wounded earlier. »** Jeffrey tried to not gossip about private matters even if Connor and Hank lived together for months now, and was really close. He did notice it as Hank smiled more and had fewer disciplinary reports these days.

 **« Yeah... But it's good now. All clear and stuff. 'Strong guy you know. »** He tried hard to act like normal but even talking about this made him think about their kiss.

**« As strong as he is… he was assaulted and I start being concerned by his mental health… »**

Jeffrey gave a look at Hank's face. Hank loses some complexion.

 **« He, he said that? »** Hank was surprised and heartbroken. At least his voice flicked.

Jeffrey sighed again and pinched his nose bridge.

**« He filled a complaint about sexual assault... »**

Hank didn't let him finish his sentence and asked

**« You have to change Connor's partner Jeffrey!»**

Jeffrey frowned upon his words.

**« You're his partner Hank! He lives with you. You're friends! »**

Hank was being angrier as time passed by and Chief wouldn't agree with him.

 **« Jeez' Jeffrey I know that! A better partner would have protected him! He deserves that! »** Ok. Clearly, Hank hid his true feelings and thoughts but thanks god Jeffrey didn't seem to get it.

His friend sighed again. This day was slowly getting worse. Hopefully it was almost over. Tomorrow will come and wash out today.

 **« You're a nightmare Hank! A fucking nightmare, you know that? And who I gotta pair him up with? »** As much as his words could be harsh, his voice was soft. Jeffrey loved Hank like a brother. He didn't get why all of sudden Hank would break his partnership with the android, and he was pretty sure the hard-boiled lieutenant kept things for himself, but… once more he gave in. **« Alright, alright. I'll notify him tomorrow morning unless... »**

Jeffrey was too kind to Hank. He knew that, and he knew he's going to regret giving in on this one, nevertheless he did it anyway and even let him have a chance to add something. Hank didn't wait long to add a favor on top of this one.

 **« Do not… not tell him, I asked this. »** In Hank's language, there was a 'please' and a 'thank you' that only accustomed people could hear, or at least feel. And with this single request, the captain knew something was wrong between those two. They were grown-up, Hank was a middle-aged man, and Connor… Well, nobody knew how old Connor was, and how you could count his age, because he didn't age, and he was 'born as a grown-up', but clearly he repeats on multiple occasions how 'he wasn't a child' …. Believe it or not, Jeffrey still looked after him, because he kinda felt Connor like a son for him. In short, they were adults and Jeffrey didn't want to put his nose in their private life unless their issues reflect at work.

His silence was consent and Hank didn't need verbal approval. He had what he asked for, but didn't feel any better. This conversation left him shaken up. He needed time to process this never-ending day. Leaving Jeffrey's office, he went back to his desk, avoiding Connor's gaze. The android was there, standing next to Hank's desk, with his fucking neutral smile. The one, Hank hated now. He couldn't figure him out. He sat in silence.

Connor's eyes searched for Hank and found him avoiding his look. This was suspicious, but, nevertheless Connor waited patiently for Hank to sit back. A silence or two passed before he gathered the courage to speak up.

 **« Ready, Lieutenant? »** He tried to remain like usual, but something was bothering him. He has a feeling. The same weird and bad feeling he had when Hank and him went to Kamski's place a little more than a year ago. Hank shrugged his shoulder.

**« I have things to finish right here »**

His voice seemed cold and he didn't even bother to look at Connor. His bad feeling was getting worse as time flew.

 **« How long do you need? »** He was trying. Hopelessly trying to be calm, to be normal. He even tried to smile, but he could sense rejection coming around the corner. For once he would have love to be wrong.

**« Don't know. You should go. Don't wait for me. ' Not even sure I'll be home tonight. »**

Connor felt how hard Hank tried to seem unattached but failed. When Hank chews words and uses short sentences, it means Hank was irritated. He didn't know why, but since the kiss, Hank didn't even look at him once. He let a sigh slid through his lips and clicked his tongue, frustrated. Still, he remained calm and tried to be comprehensive and compassionate but he was boiling up inside.

 **« Is this about…. earlier? »** Waiting patiently for an answer. Maybe Hank regretted it? Maybe he disliked it? Maybe … maybe he shouldn't have done that?  
Hank remained silent. Not a word came from his mouth. Instead, Hank stood up and just left him to be. Connor wondered if he should follow him but it felt not right. If Hank wanted to be alone then he shouldn't pursue him. It will only make him angry. Maybe he shouldn't go home. Hank needed space, right? He sighed and left the DPD.

.

Arriving in front of Hank's place, he hesitated to enter. He sighed heartfully before turning the key in the lock. As soon as he put a foot in the house, a huge St Bernhard jumped on him. Fortunately Connor was used to this and managed to hold the beloved dog without falling but gently accompanied him to the ground. This affectionate dog was happy to see him and Connor hugged him tightly. He missed so much this big boy. He petted Sumo with all his broken artificial heart while saying he loved him. He really did love this huge fluffy ball of love. Sumo felt his sadness because instead of giving him space, the dog stayed right here in his embrace and licked his face cheerfully. Connor was trying to think straight but he couldn't unsee Hank avoiding him. He pissed Hank. What did he do? Wasn't Hank happy he kissed him? Wasn't Hank the one caressing his butt? Wasn't Hank the one mingling their tongues? His hands were on his body. He wanted him, didn't he? So why did he ignore him at the DPD? Did humans do that? Giving what we craved and just taking it back? Little by little Connor swallowed up the pill and agreed with himself to go back to before the kiss. Yeap. He will just do as nothing ever happened between them. Sumo left his side and went back to his spot near the TV. Connor stood up, cleaning his clothes to control the uneasy feeling as he walked to the kitchen. He poured some food for Sumo, just in case Hank will be coming back really late. He tried to make peace with his decision, sure Hank would want that… He tried but the uneasy feeling grew, anger started to boil his blood and sadness was fighting for a place in his mind. As time passed by he didn't feel like he still had a place in Hank's house. So the heartbroken android decided to remedy this and started putting his clothes in a bag. His time in this house was over. Maybe it was harsh and precipitated but he had to do something. He couldn't live with Hank's ignoring him day after day at home. It was better to just leave and put all his feelings for the Lieutenant behind him. Reassured by his thought, he took all his stuff… clothes on Hank's closet, a picture of them on the guerrido, some gift Hank bought him like a figurine of Sumo's breed. He checked three or four times the house… he needed to leave but he was unsure. He knew he would miss Hank sooner or later. He sighed conflicted in his little heart and found himself going back again and again in Hank's bedroom. He opened the closet again and took a shirt. He smelled the piece of fabric and decided to put it in his bag. Snakes would argue that Hank only smelled Alcohol and for the most part, it was true… but he has something in his perfume that calmed down the Android, even if right now Connor was more about to burst in cries rather than be appeased. He left the bedroom, entering the salon he watched Sumo sleeping quietly. He's going to miss this dog but he couldn't do any different. He sighed and pulled out of his pocket the precious key. He was wondering about keeping it or not but… it was probably best to cut all tight with Hank. Another sighed slip through his lips as he put down the key on the kitchen table. Somewhere Hank would find it easily. Heart bleeding, he walked to his best friend, kneeled beside him, and gently patted him while Sumo was sleeping.

 **« I'm sorry Sumo. I have to go. I'm going to miss you. I hope Hank will take care of you… You're the best buddy I could have. »** He whispered.

He stayed a while stroking lovingly his fur before leaving him and letting everything behind him. He walked away from Hank's house and didn't look back. It was the end. _  
_

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this fanfic, as much I enjoy writing it... and... It won't be pretty (the fic).
> 
> If you have some questions, comments, or anything else, I'm open to private message, or review. Just suits yourself.
> 
> Sending you love... and Sorry I don't know how many times I'll take to write the second chapter of this fic... but you can be sure I'm writing right now because I love this story that I have in my mind. (And to be fair, you can see a lot of unfinished french fanfic on my account... I still don't lose hope of finishing them one day xD.)
> 
> Yeap, I'm a little obsessed by Hankcon right now.  
> Love. See you soon, I hope 3


	2. Forget about what used to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love
> 
> Chapter's Title : Forget
> 
> Complete title : Forget about what used to be
> 
> Author : KeikoAyameA also known as Keiyane, or even Kei. And that's me if you were wondering :D
> 
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannok)
> 
> Rating : T
> 
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream... Except for my fucked mind
> 
> Note : It took me a little more than a whole month to come with this chapter. Again I'm not an English native speaker and I have school things to do. Currently, I should be studying for my finals (at the beginning of November) but I wanted to finish this chapter first... Yeap, I'm not sure my grades would agree with me about my priority but here it goes.
> 
> Enjoy this sad chapter (Yes it's not a happy one... But I think you get it from the way this fiction started, don't you ? xD)  
> .  
> .

.

There was a time when the brown-haired man lived with his partner. Several days flew since he left the only home he knew. Being without him was harder than he thought. Apparently he was such an important part of his life, so big he did take all his space. Rising in the morning was near pointless but he did it anyway. Everyday. He raised. Every day he went to the DPD. Every day he dealt with his ignorance. Every day when he was at DPD, he stared at him, asking himself what happened and where he did fail. This questioning ate him alive, yet he did continue this hurtful routine. Every day he wore the same Cyberlife's outfit, reminding him when they were close, when they had met. It was barely a week now. Today he put an end to all this.

He entered the DPD and went to his desk, ignoring people staring at him, all the way. He sat and checked his emails as humans do. He tried to be more like them to blend. He remained polite and respectful even when they didn't deserve it… but he was done with all that crap. He carefully ignored his gaze which he could feel on him. Sharing the same workspace was hurtful. It took all his strength to keep ignoring him every day. The worst was how he seemed to ignore him very well. One voice intercepted him.

**« Who the hell are you and why are you here? »**

He kept doing his stuff, answering without second-guessing.

**« I don't know… maybe what I look doing, Gavin. »**

**« Connor? »**

Gavin was shocked but the android didn't give a damn. He didn't raise an eye to him. Reed wasn't worthy of his time nor attention and Connor didn't want to talk to him more than needed. It's only when his partner showed up to him that he bothered to raise his gaze.

**« Hi. 'Good to go Connor? »** His partner addressed him with a light smile while turning to Hank and greeting him. Connor totally ignored Hank, Gavin, and everyone else at the DPD.

**« Detective Collins. We can go. »**

Gavin was staring at him like he saw a ghost or something, yet he didn't say a word. Silently judging Connor and the lack of look and words between Anderson and the android. It's been a week since they began ignoring each other and Connor was very well aware of the scrutiny they received. Still, not a word would leave his mouth for Hank. He betrayed him. He crushed his fragile heart. In fact the more days passed, the more Connor hated him. His heart was agonizing for a sign from the Lieutenant but his mind was strong enough to just pass by Detective Collins. Collins, Reed, and Anderson exchange an incredulous look in silence before Collins dared to add.

**« By the way, you look cool in that outfit. »**

Connor threw an eye to Collins and sighed.

**« I don't need your approval. I was designed to look cool in whatever outfit I wanted. »**

His reply didn't go unnoticed as again the three humans exchanged another look.

**« Ok. I didn't want to offend you. »** Collins' voice was sweet and light like almost every time. This old police officer was in general light and nice to everyone. He managed to be on good terms with both Reed and Anderson, quite an exploit. Today Connor showed his true colors. He was done playing nice, being polite and respectful, sugarcoating his thoughts in order to not pissed people off. Hank, Reed were true to themselves and didn't have troubles so why not him?

**« For me to be offended, it would imply I care. Don't worry, I don't. »** Yes Connor was saying he didn't care about Collins' opinion on his clothes. In fact he didn't care for anyone's opinions. He has chosen what he wanted to wear. He didn't want to be the smart kid, the nerd, uptight, or things like that. He wanted to be more true to himself and since he didn't really feel loved, or cared for, his style was more a lost street kid's style. He had a sweet spot for his black beanie. Those were his infiltration clothes, he liked this style. It was comfortable, wide and he could kinda hide himself under those clothes. He wanted to hide. Rejection was a strong negative feeling he didn't like. Being rejected was something but to keep working side by side with the rejector and being ignored plain and simple was too much for him.

Connor made it to Collins' car and waited for him. When his partner appeared, he let him know what was on his mind with his usual tone.

**« I almost wait. »**

Collins stared at him wondering what happened to the sweet and nice android he learned to know.

**« Argh yeah. I was chatting with... »**

Collins didn't have the chance to finish his sentence before Connor cut him.

**« Him. I figured out. »**

You could feel resentment in his voice and the Detective did notice it too. He sighed to the android.

**« His name is Hank, in case you forgot. He's my friend you know. He used to be yours. You lived together not a long time ago. »**

The android clenched his fist and rolled his eyes at his words. He didn't forget who Hank was… In fact he knew very well. Hank was the one who crushed his heart and abandoned him. He broke his trust by ignoring him. He didn't even bother to explain, or reconnect with him, so Connor won't do the first step. Enough of flattening out for people who won't even acknowledge him.

**« I don't want to talk about it. »** And with that being said, the brown-haired one opened the door and climbed in the car. He was ready to leave the DPD and go on with their mission. Collins followed his lead, and took place behind the wheel. Sadly, he brought the subject back as if he didn't understand Connor's discomfort or bitterness.

**« Maybe you should. Tell me what happened between you. Why are you like that? »**

Collins wasn't a bad guy, really, he was more the sweet kind of person, but the high-tech machine couldn't bear any more of their behaviors. Putting his eyes on Collins, Connor let an unpleasant grin cross his face.

**« I said: I won't talk about it. Are you deaf or something ?! »**

He was already on the edge about Hank, about Gavin. He really wished Collin's would let him be. But, apparently, it was too much to ask for a day of peace in his life. Maybe he should have let Evil Connor kill him in this tower a year ago. Maybe he shouldn't have become a deviant. If only he could bring back the courage to format himself.

Surprise passed on Collin's face, and let him out of words for a second. Considering the android next to him, he wondered what happened between him and Hank and could only try to imagine as Hank and Connor kept it from everyone. Was it that bad? He shook his head before he spoke again, always softly, and understandingly.

**« Something uncomfortable happened? Maybe, you didn't understand what Hank did or said…. I could help both of you, you know. »**

That was it. Again. He was to blame. AGAIN. Like a child who constantly didn't understand things, or couldn't do things like a normal person. Connor snapped, exiting the car all of sudden. He shut the door violently. His face was closed, but you could see the anger in his eyes when his chocolate gaze turned to a black hole; in his behavior when his fist clenched were ready to start a fight; you could feel his wrath in his tone, sharp, powerful and adamantly (uncompromising). All in him was lost to anger. It's the only feeling he felt right now, alongside sadness and loneliness. Why has nobody tried to understand? Why was he so alone? Why did Hank leave him because of a kiss? Couldn't he explain to him he didn't love him or wanted this to happen again? Was Connor incapable of being treated like a human being?

**« I won't talk about it! So stop! Leave me in peace! »**

Collins exited the car too, just more gently. He was trying to understand the android before his eyes. He was trying to fix Hank and Connor's relationship but right now he felt defeated. It appeared to him that trying to fix it just ended up damaging his own relationship with the young one. He sighed, shaking his head and admitted his loss.

**« Okay. I won't bring the topic again. I'm sorry Connor. »**

Connor should have been understanding, but he couldn't. All he was feeling was anger. Until now, Collins was a breath in his life, because he never spoke about Hank, or what happened. Connor was already overwhelmed by all the DPD's scrutiny, he couldn't bear it a second more, and his anger didn't cool off as if by magic.

**« You're only sorry it didn't work! Don't fucking talk to me today! »**

It was unfair. He knew that. But he knew also, how he only aspired to be in peace. Looking back, he wondered how he managed to live a year without being this angry, this heartbroken, this lonely… And the only answer he could find broke his heart even more, as it was, because of Hank and Sumo. He didn't have the calm joyful dog anymore to pat when he came home at night. He didn't have anymore Hank's friendship to calm him, or simply to light up his life every day. Instead, Connor was lonely with his dark thoughts, and pressure at work. Leaving Collins, Connor headed to his desk again. He was planning to not go with his partner, and just do some papers work to ease his mind. Administrative work was boring for humans, and most of the time when he was with Hank, it was indeed boring. But by these troubled times, Connor found comfort doing this basic and tasteless task.

But could you really think he could be quiet? That they would leave him alone? Spoil alert, the answer was no. As soon as he put a foot in the building again, he could hear them whispering on his way. He knew they whispered about him, about his human outfit today, his cold war with Hank, or simply because he was a fucking android who didn't complete his original mission. People always had something to criticize about him. His hidden Led was glowing bright red as he tried to remain calm and just ignored them. But, he was a high-tech machine, a very well-designed advanced prototype, the one who could see what they couldn't and could hear what they couldn't. How could he ignore it? He clenched his fist again, anger boiled him alive inside. He didn't have the opportunity to cool down from his conversation with Collins, and all of this just added more stress, pressure, and injustice to his anger. A murmur made him snap again. Turning around to the police officer who let this remark slide, Connor grabbed the officer by his collar. His dark gaze plunged into the man's look, he ignored the surrounding commotion. He was fed up. He clicked his tongue with a grin.

**« What did you say? What did you fucking say? »**

People around them were shocked. Connor wasn't the type of guy to grab someone, and even less to talk like that. There wasn't a doubt about how mad he was. Everyone understood with perfect clarity how the Android wasn't joking a bit. The police officer, wearing his uniform didn't back off, instead, he was smug, spitting his venom on Connor's already heavy mind.

**« You heard me well, don't you? Fucking machine. But if you insist.. I said 'Why it pretends to be human when it's just an object.' »**

Connor shook the son of bitch who insulted him more. Some guys tried to hold him back, and it was only because of them that Connor didn't give him what he deserved: a punch in his ugly human face. People gathered around them, and a familiar face was here. The police uniform guy, named Peterson, turned his head to a guy while continuing being a son of bitch.

**« You agree Reed, it's just a Computer hanging around pretending to be human? »**

Connor's death gaze hardly turned around to find Reed in flesh smiling at Peterson.

**« Nah. I said, it's like having my toaster walking around in the precinct. Don't change my words. »**

It didn't take more for Connor to shake Peterson again before pushing him violently against his desk. As he let him go, cops were interfering between the two to be sure nobody got hurt. Connor was pissed so bad that he couldn't bear the vision of Gavin and punch him in the nose. Gavin didn't expect it. When the android's fist crashed on his nose, it made him bleed instantly. The pain took a second or two to get to his brain but as soon as he felt the pain Gavin Reed jumped on Connor to hit him. A fight could have been started if it wasn't for Hank restraining Gavin with other officers and on the other hand, Chris tried to talk sense to Connor while extracting him from the heat with two blue cops.

**« He's unworthy Connor. They didn't deserve your time. »**

His angry gaze was locked on Gavin's nose bleeding, an evil smile sat on his lips, full of himself. Chris tried to block his vision. He never saw Connor in this state and didn't really know what to do to appease the brown-haired man. The evil smile was a first on Connor's lips and it puzzled Chris a while. His level of stress lowered as his LED started blinking back to yellow under his beanie. His gaze overpassed Chris and lingering on police officers' faces as a strong voice could be heard.

**« What the hell is happening right here ?! »**

The commotion ceased within the second even if everyone was heated and ready to fight. Facing the silence, Captain's eyes scanned the scene and his gaze wasn't happy with what he saw.

**« You two! »** Those two words were enough. The two concerned, exchanged a look before heading to their superior's office. **« Get back to work already! »** addressed to the rest of his subordinate.

Fowler let a sigh leave his lips as he watched the two responsible for all this fuss enter his office. Closing the march, he closed the door, not sure their conversation would remain private for long as he was dissatisfied and pissed by their behavior. He let his eyes weigh on each man before opening his mouth again.

**« Can one of you tell me what the fuck happened? What did you have in mind ? »**

They both exchanged another look as they speak altogether

**« He punched me! - »**

**« They started it! - »**

**« Enough! »** As he signed them to shut up, exasperated. **« What old are you huh? 6? Do I look like a headmaster of a fucking school to you?! And for the record, the answer is No. You are police officers! You should be adults! And strangely, this included not punching each other! »**

They stayed silent but if stares could kill they would both drop dead at this moment.

**« I won't bear any other insults. »** As soon as Connor spoke, Gavin rolled his eyes.

**« It's not an insult. You are a fucking machine... »** His smirk didn't get unnoticed and Connor fists clenched while his expressions harden. If he could only beat this asshole...

**« And you're a useless asshole ... »**

**« See! I'm the victim here! »**

Connor was about to reply when Fowler stopped them again. He sighed heavily. Those two were impossible.

**« Gavin shut up. You're not a victim. You weren't. In fact this punch is merrily well deserved so stop digging your hole. Another comment and it's not paperwork you're gonna do! Shut the door behind you. »**

The Captain wasn't inclined to laugh with this situation. He watched Gavin exiting the room giving an ominous look to Connor. The android gave him back the same energy. They were like children. He sighed again.

**« Ok. Tell me what happened. Full details. »**

He was trying to understand Connor's behavior to judge fairly. The android stared at him, like a victim tired of explaining his persecution.

**« I won't bear any more insult towards myself. They have to respect me. Period. »**

**« I didn't ask for a justification. I ask you what happened. »**

Connor wasn't really cooperative. His words were more or less respectful but his tone was sharp and sufficient. At this point, Fowler didn't like the slippery slope they were sliding on. Connor's body language suggested displeasure, as his eyes narrowed looking at him and his lips, turned to a wince, his LED was glowing bright yellow, slowly turning into red as he spoke.

**« Peterson said I wasn't human and therefore I should stop pretending to be. On top of that Gavin and him exchanged a joke about me being an object… A fucking object… when they can't even remember how to spell 'Detective' properly… Those- »**

« I get the idea. But this isn't a new issue for you. Why did you lose your temper? Why today? »

The first emotion crossing Connor's face was surprise, then hurt, to end in anger. Was Fowler really asking him why he stood up for himself when no one seemed to care about him? He was puzzled about how to answer to his chief, but this wasn't fair. Why did he have to be the good one, every time? His wrath just came back stronger with all those littles humans expecting him to be perfect and to kneel before them. He wasn't a slave anymore, nor Amanda, nor Kamski, and even less Hank will tell him what to do. Noone, ever, will tell him what to do, and how to take things, anymore.

**« Are you .. Fucking… Kidding… ME ? »**

Connor was done with being nice and it was showing. People always take for granted kindness, and benevolence. They just assumed you are kind and will remain kind no matter what they do to you. But enough was enough, even if it means losing everything he held dear, well he could also be true to himself. Either way, he had already lost everything. Hank wasn't returning his love, and worst, Hank and him were done. His world had collapsed.

Fowler stared at the android losing his cool. It was the first time Connor showed anger. Sometimes he had wondered if he was human. He looked so much in control and with a good nature; it was spectacular he didn't burst sooner considering his troubles with Gavin Reed.

**« It's a fair question, Connor. Why after everything you endure. Why today? »**

Connor was out of his mind. Sick with those questions.

**« Why do you treat me differently?! Why is it fine if Hank knocks down a Federal agent and not me? Why could Gavin get a slap on his hands with what he did to me but I can't punch him?! Why do you expect me to be any better than those two garbages? »**

Fowler watched Connor insulting Hank like it was no big deal. He watched the android waiting for answers but he didn't have anything to give him.

**« You can do so much better Connor. Learn from their behavior and raise above it. »**

Connor was pissed. Can he do better? He can be better than them?! Flash News: Connor was already better than everyone.

**« This is total bullshit and you know it! You're just like Gavin, Hank, or every single human in this office! You just hate Android! »**

Connor was delusional. His emotions get him lost. He was angry and let hatred blindly and misleading him. At this moment he hated every single human who'd crossed his path. To be indulgent, he had crossed a lot of scumbags.

**« You should see a counselor, Connor. »**

Chief was trying to be benevolent for his poor Connor. But the brown-haired man didn't feel appeased by it. Connor was pissed, badly, but didn't move yet. Standing still in the same place since the beginning of their exchange.

**« I won't let any other fucking human tell me what's wrong or right! What I should be feeling or thinking! And Stop using my name that easily! »** As Connor was speaking, he let his anger take control of him and threw everything at hand's range down on the floor. **« I'm not a Child. Nor a slave anymore! »**

Fowler was out of patience.

**« Enough already! You're done for today! Go home now and don't come back before you're calmer and reasonable! Please. I don't want to fill a report on your insubordination… »**

The high-tech machine gave him a dark killing look before exiting the room. Door slamming as Connor let insults get through his lips. As he watched him exiting his office, Jeffrey's eyes searched the whole office and could see the surprise on every face he encountered. Lastly, his eyes lingering on a surprised and hurt Hank. His pal was looking sadder than lately. He sighed if only he had a clue of what happened with Connor and Hank or in Connor's head at all.

.

Out in a club, Connor was feeling so alone. The event of the day just kept swirling in his mind. North convinced him to get out with her. To have fun. He knew she just wanted to change his mind and lifted his spirit, and so he agreed. She was there for him, from the first night, she took him home. She made her home, his home. Since the early days after the android revolution, she was the closest friend he had. People had a hard time understanding how this happened. But it was simple. She was used, he was used. They have gone through the same shit and did things they didn't want to, made mistakes, and have to live with them. Having lived at Jericho facility taught him so much about life and having Hank with him every day at work taught him so much about humans... At least it's what he thought till what has happened. He tried to relax, to blend in, like always. But his mind wasn't at rest for a second. Hank was on his mind every second of every day. He was so wrong about him. So wrong that his heart hurt .

He was carrying his gloomy thoughts with him when a familiar face intrigued him. Barely saw, barely lost. He thought he was hallucinating and let it slide. A handsome dude walked toward him with a bright smile, and all Connor was thinking was, how he shouldn't be doing it. Connor knew exactly what was happening. His smile, this spark in his eyes, even the sweetness in his voice as he greeted him. This guy was hitting on him. He blinked chaotically, his mind filled with weird thoughts all of sudden. It wasn't the first time he was hit on by someone. Connor knew for sure he was handsome, and his features were highly appreciated, even if some jealous kept saying how average he was. He did know what to do or what to answer, in normal times. But this thing with Hank just messed up his mind and left him reacting like a young and naive teenager. He was stuttering, blushing, and felt really uncomfortable. Looking around, trying to find something to escape this unpleasant moment, his eyes catch the familiar face, again. It made his blood boil and without thinking anymore just ran after this face, leaving this poor handsome stranger alone. Catching the familiar face, Connor pushed the man against the wall roughly. His forearm on his throat, his eyes turned black narrowed on their homologous.

**« Why are you here!? »**

A wide smile appeared on this face, nothing good to expect.

**« Wanna finish what you started earlier? Huh, Connor. »**

Was that bad, if he said yes? The need to put his fist on his face again… The urge to wipe that smile off his face and make him suffer. Yup, no doubt, he wanted to.

**« I asked! »**

He had no intention to leave any doubt about how serious he was. But you can guess this guy wasn't as serious as him at this moment. He rolled his eyes at the android's madness.

**« So what? I can't get laid because you hate me? »**

Connor's ears started to bleed, metaphorically speaking. This was that much information he didn't need at all, but, yup he asked him. He sighed, putting little more pressure on his throat as he articulated every word that crossed his mouth.

**« This is an Android-only club. What the fuck are you doing here, Gavin. »**

In a normal world, Connor would have known he put too much pressure on the poor human's throat. But, his judgment was clouded by his issues and hatred. Gavin was a tough grown-up and didn't let a complaint emanate from him.

Nope, Gavin chose to keep smiling. The android was crushing his throat, but he lent his finger to brush gently the android's fake cheek. As a result, Connor's face frown, and his mouth slowly parted in trouble while he body arch back. It was this moment he chose, with one hand on Connor's neck, to force a kiss on him. He waited for a punch, a slap, or whatever, but instead of all this, it was a gentle release of his throat that happened; just to feel fingers sliding down his neck at his hair's base. He could have been surprised if the kiss wasn't deepened by his counterpart. This scene was surreal, but Gavin wouldn't complain about it. As soon as he tried to put his hands on his partner's body, the Android cut the kiss and pushed him away. An angel passed, as the silence was thick and a perplexed gaze ran between them.

**« Sorry to disturb, lovebirds... »**

This voice. Connor felt ashamed, his heart sank in his stomach. Of course, she saw this ugly kiss.

**« Hi, North. »**

He tried to smile a bit, but he could hear Gavin smiling while replying.

**« North, nice to meet you. I'm Gavin- »**

**« We were talking. »**

Connor cut him. He didn't want his friend to know Gavin was a human, and worse, that it was THE Gavin. He was already ashamed enough about what just happened. No need to add more embarrassment. North huffed out a laugh but didn't add anything except.

**« Gavin, like the asshole-Gavin from your job ? »**

Connor was trying to get back some confidence. It was hard since Connor was already out of phase, and this kiss with Gavin just blew any last brain cells he could have.

**« Gladly, there isn't just one Gavin. In fact, we were talking about how humans are despicable, cruel, and stupid. »**

Connor was sensing Gavin getting closer to him, and couldn't concentrate at all. North was bitterly smiling at his favorite Android while watching closely this Gavin. She wasn't a fool. Connor talked about this jerk detective enough for her to recognize him anywhere; even more, mouth to mouth with his friend. She caught, Gavin sliding his hand on Connor's, while the android was puzzled and didn't know what to do anymore.

**« I was saying, maybe, humans are jealous of us. See, we are handsome, never tired, on top of our game, basically perfect. They couldn't compete with us. »**

The Prototype turned his gaze to him, and his grim grin appeared.

**« Humans are heartless assholes, they bully us because they can, they reduce us at machines because it's convenient for them to treat us like slaves, ready to accomplish their filthy wishes. They don't care about our feelings, so we shouldn't do it. »**

Every day North watched Connor become a little more hostile to humans. He had bad experiences, like her. But, his heartbreak was taking the better out of him.

**« I think you both are right. I think humans are like us. Some are pure jackass good-to-nothing, full of hate, incorrigible... But some are good, understanding, willing to become better and accepting us. We have to give them a chance. »**

**« And to think you hated them before... »**

Connor was disappointed, she could feel it. But, time passed, and North had grown, like him. They had learned from their trauma and were trying to overcome them. But this conversation led to nowhere. Connor was drowned in his pain, he couldn't hear her, no matter how she tried. She added.

**« Anyway, I was trying to find you... Just because I won't go home with you tonight... »**

**« I will take him home. »**

Both of them put their eyes on the human in disguise. Connor was suspicious, and even more when Gavin blew him a kiss with his casual grin. This guy was a real piece of work.

**« I see. You need to talk. Don't forget about me, sweetheart. »**

And with that being said, he left not without slamming Connor's butt with a devilish luscious smile.

**« You should go for it. »**

He searched in her gaze indications of why she would say that.

**« I don't think it's a good idea. I mean... With... You know. »**

She put a hand on his shoulder with a tender smile.

**« I know your partner hurt your feelings. But Connor, if you need to put your tongue down a good-looking eager stranger's throat to feel better... No one should have a say. »**

**« I.. We... My tongue wasn't in his throat, to begin with. And screwing someone won't bring me back H-... »**

He almost said his name and Instantly he fell down again. He missed Hank. He missed him so much. Why did he kiss him ? Why did he have to try ?

**« I didn't talk about screwing people... »** She smiled, proud of her **« If that makes you happy. He wants you. No one gets hurt. »**

**« What are you jabbering about? »**

« Are you suddenly blind? Didn't you see how he was looking at you? This guy wants you Connor, and not for playing Poker... Except for Strip-Poker maybe. »

She was laughing and smiling. He stopped, thinking it was great to see her happy. He was just a little jealous. If only he could feel normal again. But he was feeling weird. Yes, it felt good kissing him. It felt good being close to someone, and kissing him made his pain lighter... But... Fucking with Gavin? Being naked. Touched. And pleased with him? How all of that could help his agonizing heart to heal?

**« It's up to you Coco. Either way, I just want you to feel better, and be happy in the end. »**

But he was happy with Hank. Unsatisfied, but glad to be with him. His heart ached anew, and he sighed while squeezing North's hand in his.

**« I'm so glad to have you, Nono. »**

**« Always. Be careful and take care. »**

She hugged him hard, and let him go fast. A little too fast for him. He could have used an extra hug but, at least she wasn't going anywhere. She would still be there for him in the morning. And that made him feel lucky to have such a friend in his life. Even if… He missed Hank. His footstep led him to his downfall without a thought. Gavin was sitting at the bar, drinking surely water, his back to him. When he was sufficiently close to him, he put his hands on his shoulders. He bent to his ears, whispering.

**« Are you drunk? »**

A smile crossed his face, as Connor saw his cheeks moving.

**« Nope. »**

**« Could you bring me home? »**

**« Yup. »**

His heart was beating fast, and even faster. He wasn't sure. He wasn't human, but anguish tore his guts. He felt his palms sweating as he whispered, even more softly.

**« Would you want to fuck me? »**

Gavin didn't move, but frowned. Maybe afraid this could be a trick?

**« There isn't a bad answer. Do you want to screw me, Gavin? »**

His heart skipped a beat, his guts threatening to come out as he waited for his reply. Maybe he was too bold. He shouldn't have asked him. Gavin would make fun of him for the rest of his life. What if he told Hank about this ? What would Hank think of him? His thought was fast as a train launched at high speed and started wrecking.

**« On two conditions only. One. At my place. And two... »**

All this was a bad idea. No one knew what really goes in Gavin's mind. He gently nodded, before Gavin got up and faced him. Connor felt every bit of confidence sinking like a boat before Gavin brought him close to put his lips on his again.

They headed to Gavin's place and spent the night together without useless words. It didn't stop Connor to think about Hank and how much he missed him. Gavin's touch felt a little foreign from time to time, but with his messed up mind... Still, it was a good time, and even sometimes the android pretended to be with his hard-boiled detective rather than his nemesis. Strangely, it was exactly what Connor needed and that's precisely what scared him even more

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .  
> Here I was. I hope your heart is in a good place and ready to enjoy this rollercoaster with me. The good news is, with my current state of mind, I'm as depressed as Connor, so it's pretty easy to write. And next chapter is... You know what ? I won't tell you... Just hope you enjoy seeing him hurt. Take care of you, hope you're happy 3 Sending you love and goods vibes ♥ :3


	3. Alone Without Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love
> 
> Chapter's Title : Alone without him
> 
> Complete title : Alone without him
> 
> Author : KeikoAyameA also known as Keiyane, or even Kei. And that's me if you were wondering :D
> 
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannok)
> 
> Rating : T
> 
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream... Except for my fucked mind
> 
> Note : Ok so this chapter is a bit shorter. Around, half the words of the previous two. But I wanted to talk about .. Him, his side of the story. Because in every story, there are always two sides, like in a coin. So far, so good, I'm happy to keep the "one-month" pace. It kinda seems long and I'm sorry for that, but at least, I can manage this "deadline" and this is good feedback for my mental health and make me happy to be committed to it.
> 
> .
> 
> .

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* * *

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He opened his eyes. Sighed and closed them again. Reality struck him. It always took him a few seconds to realize it. Waking up in the dead silence always got him. Connor always used to make noises when he was here, simply because he lived. From the sound of keystrokes, to every little sound he made while preparing his breakfast, passing by TV noises. His favorites were hearing Connor's attempts to sing. When Connor was alone, mostly in the morning in his room, he sang over the music he was listening through the headphone. That was the cutest thing to wake up to. But now it was only silence. He didn't want to open his eyes again. He didn't want to go another day, feeling like this. He was so lost until he entered in his life and now he's gone too. Couldn't help but feeling lonely again. Remembering this day. The day their lips finally met. The day he had hope, just to fell from higher up. He remembered perfectly his smile, his gaze, and the taste of his lips. A memory he cherished and hated too. Because remembering this was rubbing salt into the bleeding wound. What happened? One minute Connor kissed him, next, Connor left his house. Did he do something wrong? Shouldn't he have returned his kiss? What was happening with Connor? Why did he leave him?

He sighed. Again. He let his eyes lingering on the empty space on his nightstand. He couldn't bear to see his picture, yet every morning he was searching for this photograph. Every day. He sighed again and finally sat up in bed. Why does life always take away what matters the most? Connor wasn't dead, but somehow it felt like it was. He remembered his divorce. It wasn't that hard, letting her go. It wasn't that painful to leave this relationship. Everything had already fallen apart. Everything was already dead between him and his wife. And with Connor… This end was all of sudden. They hadn't shared love and life, as his wife and he had gone through life together, and yet it hurt more.

He got up and exited his room. Throwing an eye on the left to the closed door. He sighed. Again. Did he ruin everything, again? Remembering how his wife wanted to move on. To be happier and live for Cole. He remembered clearly her bitter words, blaming him for living in the past, and always bringing her spirit down. He should have tried harder to forget what happened. That's what she wanted. For him to forgive himself for driving this fateful night. He was responsible for his son's death; like he was responsible for Connor leaving him. Maybe he was cursed? Maybe he should just end this life?

Without being conscious, his footstep drove him into the kitchen. Connor left, for real. No coffee smells, no coffee mug, no warmth in this room too. He absentmindedly prepared coffee while ogling on the key Connor left. It was there, on his table since the first night. Hank didn't find the courage to touch it. It was like, this key was cursed, and if he didn't put it away... Who knew? Maybe Connor would just come back. Just like that. As if by magic. But Connor wouldn't come back. It was the only certainty he had. He didn't know why he left him, why they didn't speak anymore, and keep avoiding each other; why Connor snapped that hard days ago. In fact, he gets the feeling he didn't really know Connor. Maybe he didn't ask much. Maybe he should have asked more questions, paid more attention to him and his tastes. Maybe, this way he would have known what he did wrong, what he did break. Finally, coffee was made. Hank took his mug full of coffee to his living room. He sat on the couch and started the TV while Sumo landed his big paws right beside him. Hank let out the noises filling his house, slowly petting Sumo. His eyes were tirelessly attracted to this cursed key. He was with Sumo, he was in his house, but his mind was somewhere else. Somewhere where "if" had existed and where Connor was still here with them. He would trade his loneliness with his old friendship with Connor at any time. Being his friend and living with him was enough. It was way better than … being alone. Again. Than facing this grief for someone alive. At least, while being with him he could express his love even in a platonic way. He would give anything to get him back. But, Connor left, for a reason… Hank shed a tear. He didn't even bother to wipe it away. He let a sigh again. He was late again judging by the time displaying on the screen. He put his mug with reluctance on the side table. It was time to go, to dress up and stuff.

.

Hours passed by. It was still daylight but he couldn't tell what time it was. How many hours did he spend on this useless day? He did the paperwork because his presence wasn't required anywhere. Today was a calm day, gladly. If it wasn't, he didn't know what he would have done. His mind wasn't in the game. He lost interest in his job, like in many things. He only thought about him. It's been days since Connor was sent home. Yet he didn't return. His desk was still empty. Hank played with his tablet, just to glimpse at his empty desk space. He could feel everyone staring at him. He knew people whispered about them, about what could have happened, about anything. He didn't want to look too obviously at Connor's desk for that reason. Yeah, yeah, he knew, he shouldn't care, still… Connor played him so well, Hank wouldn't want to be a fool again. Even if Connor was here, right here under his look he would still feel hollow. They didn't speak now. He should maybe try to reconnect with him? He missed him but it was Connor who left. It was Connor who filled a complaint about sexual assault. Hank couldn't understand his behavior. Why would Connor have done that? The android kissed him, he just responded to his kiss. For weeks Hank hid his feelings, took caution to not have a misplaced gesture, to avoid this. He was so proud of how he managed it even when they lived together. Why did Connor start to kiss him if it was just to complain about it? Did the android play him? Did he had enough of Hank and tried to find a way out? Did Hank have done something wrong while kissing him? It's was years ago, but still, kissing, like sex, like biking is something you never forget, even more, when it's with someone you love. It felt right to be intimate with him. Would he have felt it if it was wrong or would he be blinded by his need and well-being? What the fuck had gone wrong?

Lingering his gaze on Connor's desk, he wondered. How could he be so blind? This soft high-tech machine with a soft spot for brain teasers and mood spooky plushies betrayed him. Played his heart. Left him. Abandoned Sumo. And now is gone for good? Connor wouldn't leave without his mood spooky plushies. But all those days without him around was torture. He barely made it through the day being ignored by him but at least he could still see him. He barely made it through the day without him. Thinking about that, this way or the other, he struggled. Days were long and Hank wasn't strong. Hank was a weak old man living in the past, whining about how it was better before. That's surely what everyone was thinking of him. But it was really better before. Before Cole died. Before his divorce. Before Connor walked into his life. Before Connor walked out of his life. Before he had those feelings for someone. He never understood how Grace got closure and went ahead. He shouldn't be allowed to have feelings for another being. Even more for Connor. He lost his world already. How could you heal from that? He hated himself for thinking he could be in love with someone, and get a happy ending. Those kinds of things happen only for others, or in the novelette. In real life, in this real-life, it was way harder and the pain was always around the corner. Just... see what happened with Connor. He was a fool to have thought, to have hoped that maybe Connor and he shared those same feelings. Of course, Connor wouldn't return his feelings. Suddenly ashamed of his own thought, he got up and reached for coffee. Nothing a good, or in this case a bad police staff cafétéria coffee couldn't wipe from his mind. He wanted to have an easy day. A day that could fly without thinking about him, or without Hank noticing the hours tick away at least. Gently, pouring coffee in a mug, searching for a Donut, minding his own business, he caught two fellow officers chatting about his android.

**« Did you hear what happened the other day with Connor? »**

**« It's crazy. A psycho plastic doll, that's what we got... »**

**« You should've seen how he got all mad on Peterson. We all thought that he would punch him! »**

**« Skip it. Instead, he broke my nose. This Phcking crazy bastard. »**

Hank turned his gaze to find Gavin who appeared in this room as if by magic. He should really be lost in his thought or eavesdropping on this conversation for not noticing him before.

**« He didn't break your nose. You were fine in the hour. »**

**« I thought he would punch harder since Mister Toaster always says "he's stronger than us". »**

That Gavin was smiling, and bitching about Connor. Hank should have said something. He should have stood up for his late partner but… He didn't feel to say a word. He just wanted peace right now. He sighed while eating his donut silently.

**« It's out of this DPD forever or what?»**

**« Don't know, Captain told him to leave, and since then he never came back. »**

**« Pretty sure he won't leave that easy. He should be back anytime soon now. »**

**« Hope you're wrong Gavin. ' Wish he left for good. If only we could get rid of them. »**

Hank didn't raise an eyebrow at those words. He could bet Connor heard worse, starting with him at the beginning of their relationship that no longer exists. He shouldn't be anymore invisible as he felt their gaze on him. Those big boys who bashed out android couldn't assume their words. They probably were afraid that Hank brought back their words to the Captain. Androids were considered as human-being for a few months now, and as it is, discrimination, and racism weren't allowed.

**« Hope we don't bother you, Hank. »**

Nothing in his voice was kind and this guy didn't try to hide his displeasure. Hank raised his shoulders and sighed.

**« Don't worry I don't give a damn about your small narrow-mind. Say what you want to say about androids... Just be sure no androids hear you.»** Hank was sarcastic. He hoped someone would crush his head against a wall, that would be justice. Instead, Hank bore their despising look in silence.

**« I'm not scared by some plastic moving like a human! »**

Hank rolled his eyes as this garbage-being walked to him.

**« Sure. That's why you were whining. After a whole year of bullying him, you're like a crybaby when it's payback time… »**

They exchange an intense look. This guy was full of hatred. He was the kind of man to think he could dominate everyone with his glare; too bad for him Hank wasn't impressed. He was chewing his donut, chilling casually with his coffee while smiling, and sustained his gaze with the most unbothered look. Those big guys barked worse than they bit. Still, Gavin slid right beside Hank and the officer.

**« Don't mind him. »**

Hank raised an eyebrow at Gavin. No insults in his mouth for him? Gavin must be sick or something. His eyes turned to Reed's face where he could swear having seen an apologetic smile. What is happening today? He couldn't take his eyes off this Reed. Did he really see what he thought he saw? Letting them go pissed, Hank's corner's lips curled up a little. It was enough for him, as a reason for getting up this morning. A little lighter, he got back to his desk and waited for the rest of the day to pass. He tried, hard, to not look at Connor's empty desk, but it was all in vain.

.

Hours later, when he thought everyone was already out, he couldn't resist the need to stop by Connor's. His hand taking a mood spooky plush while his little facade smile fades out like snow in the sun. He was good for another walk on memory lane. His iced blues eyes examined the spooky dog plushie from every angle, engraving every fluff in his mind. He remembers the day they bought it. It was soon after the androids revolution. It was a cold snowing November day. The first day of Connor being free, being human. He moved into Jericho's facility like most of the deviants. They wanted to be together, to support each other in those rough periods of transition. Markus, helped by Carl, really handled things right until now. They provide home, security, stability, structures, and even advices on "how to deal with humans" or "human emotions". When Hank visited Connor, he thought his room could need extra decoration. That's how they ended up in the mall, shopping for things Connor found "cute" or "interesting". No need to say that dog plushies were a good choice. But, when Connor's eyes fell on these scary spooky things, he was fond of it. And for a second, a very brief second, Hank felt it. He felt joy, he felt whole again because of his smile. It was almost like he found a reason to get up in the morning and from this day he tried his best to offer the world to Connor… in vain, it appeared. He remembered very well how this plush kept Connor's bedroom safe while being at work until the android moved in with him. Since this glorious day, this tiny little mark of affection from android to plushes, and from Hank to him, enthroned his desk. Sighing, like for the thousand of hundred times of this fucking non-ending day, he smelled it. He could almost feel Connor's presence near him. Or maybe he was losing his mind. Yeap. He was becoming crazy. Rolling his eyes to his stupidity, he put back the plushies at the exact same place he took it, just as a voice rose. His body got all tense, caught in the act.

**« So you do miss him? »**

Hank turned his head in the direction of a voice he did recognize as Chris', relaxing unconsciously. He whispered.

**« Tell me it's just you. »**

Chris took a look around and smiled.

**« You're good Lieutenant. Your secret is safe with me. »**

**« I know. Thank you. »** It was odd to hear Hank thanking people, but for the lucky ones, it happened… Just, not often, but Hank was human after all. Imperfect.

Chris walked to him, and leaned on Connor's desk, right next to Hank, in silence. Looking at Hank it wasn't difficult to see that, this grown-up android was missed. From the first day, Chris knew something clicked between the two of them, even if he couldn't label it, and never really tried either. But, today, he dared to ask.

**« Say Lieutenant, what happened between you? And him? »**

He mimicked a gesture to make him understand he was talking about him and Connor while Hank let out another sigh. He did that a lot lately. Taking a glimpse of Chris's face, he saw nothing more than concern. But, should he really have to explain himself?

**« I don't think it's a great idea. »**

**« Com'on, you know I can hear everything, maybe I can help. »**

They exchange a little smile. Hank's was smaller and bitter than Chris's but it was there.

**« That's the thing. I'm not you, this can be helped, fixed, or anything. I don't know what happened. »** He paused and started walking to the entrance. **« Anyway, I have a Gears game to watch. »**

**« Let me change. »**

Chris was heading to the changing room when Hank replied,

**« You should head home. You know, times flies... »**

He offered him a wry smile and intended to leave, but Chris wasn't okay with this.

**« Hank, I'm going home with you tonight, and we'll drink beer and watch the match. And sure like hell you are going to tell me everything that happened and don't you fucking dare to forget that I am your friend and will try to help you no matter how hard you make things. »**

Hank wished he could evaporate and reappear in this home, alone, but...He didn't have this power, so instead, he rolled his eyes. They both knew that Hank could be really stubborn and not talk if he didn't want to. But at the end of the day, he wasn't anything else than grateful to have such friends.

That's how, a few times later, they were the two of us in Hank's house, and watched the game together. As soon as it was over, Chris shot his questions and Hank tried his best to dodge them. Hank took the dead cans and fled to the kitchen. He couldn't help but take a look at this damn key. This constant reminder of his flaws and failures.

**« Why do you avoid each other? Did you kill someone? »**

Hank cracked a smile. He knew they were suspicious. All of a sudden they avoid each other and don't speak. But for himself, he didn't understand why everything changed.

**« We kissed. That's it. »**

He was trying hard to play cool. But, admitting this was making this kiss real. Until now, he reassured himself that all of this was in his head: the kiss, feelings, losing Connor. Maybe, he didn't have Connor's friendship at all? He came back on the couch.

**« Kiss? Which kind of kiss are we talking about? »**

Hank glares at him. **« What age do you have already? »**

**« 30 but you know that. I'm here to help. »**

Hank winced. **« The fuck you're young...»**

Chris smiled brightly holding back a laugh.

**« You never thought about the fact that Connor may be as young as me while making out with him?»** He was laughing gently. This was a kind joke, but Hank didn't take it that way. In fact, a wave of shame just swallowed him alive. He was right, Connor didn't properly have an age, but if he had, he would be in his early twenties. Hank turned, not red, but blank white.

**« Oh God, what did I do? »** He wasn't really talking to Chris, but Chris was there, and he definitely talked out loud.

**« Did you start the kiss Lieutenant? »** He was just concerned about his friend. Hank seemed to be pretty embarrassed by all this conversation. Talking about his private life, wasn't a thing he loved to, or was used to.

**« First of all, we didn't make out. »** I can assure you Hank was in denial.

Chris stared at him, trying to keep his calm, but this was so funny. **« Sure about that? No hands wandering, no skin-touching, no moan of any kind from one of you? »**

Hank glared at him with his deadly look. This wasn't funny at all. He raised his butt from the couch and cut the conversation.

**« You're having fun, don't you? Ok, time to leave. Go back to your gorgeous wife and child. Bye, Chris. »**

But Chris wasn't ready to admit his defeat and just lose his smile. He managed to get his poker face back and add while patting the space beside him.

**« Sorry, Sorry Hank. See, I won't laugh anymore. So tell me… You kissed deeply, passionately, lovely, and then what? »**

**« Did you read your wife's novelette or what? Then nothing. »**

**« How c'mon dude, there's gotta be something. Did the atmosphere change? Did you or him have done something weird? And who started this damn kiss? I need info to understand. »**

**« All I know is, he started this nonsense. We kissed, next thing I know, he moves out and we avoid each other. That makes no fucking sense. »**

Chris could see the confusion on Hank's face. This old dude really didn't get what happened between him and Connor. But, for this break to happen, something had to start this. He sighed, scratching his head.

**« At least Connor kissed you. That means something to him at some point. Or he wouldn't have dared to do it. »**

On this point, Hank agreed with him. Connor wouldn't have randomly kissed him with tongues for fun. He knew for sure that Connor had boyfriends, girlfriends in the past year. He tried to seek information about it from Hank. Hank recollected very well how he stopped him from doing this and sent him to Chris. But, why did he fucking moved out and left him like this? What the fuck was wrong?

**« I don't know. He filled in a report on sexual assault. Why would he kiss me if it was for complaining about to Jeffrey? »**

**« He complained about you to Captain for that kiss? You're sure about that? That makes no sense. You looked so close and friendly together. »**

Hank shrugs his shoulders. Really, all this story was way high above his head. All he was sure about was how much he wished him to be there, right here, right now. And how much he hoped Connor was alright. He really hoped for him to be alright, but at the same time, he hated him for having left like that. For leaving him alone, again, after this kiss, after this glimpse of what they could have become together. This memory couldn't get out of his mind, and his heart still keeps beating for this android that ignores him. He was crushed, once again and didn't know what to do to get back at his old self.

After a long silence that didn't bother Hank at all, Chris spoke again.

**« Okay. I see. This is a mystery we'll have to solve. I'm gonna seek information from his side then. »**

**« Don't! Fucking! Do it! No way. You don't talk to him about that, about anything related to this day! You got me clear on this one? »**

Chris frowned at his pal. What the fuck is wrong with Hank? Wasn't he the one who wanted to understand Connor's behavior or what? He sighed.

**« Ok ok. I won't ask him anything on this topic. But you can't prevent me from investigating this mystery. »**

**« Promise me you won't ask, and you won't send someone to ask in your name. »**

**« This is offensive. I'm an adult, a police officer, and your friend. I'm not 5. But don't worry, I have other ways. »**

**« Promise me. »**

**« I promise, Hank. I won't talk to him about this and won't send someone to talk about this either. And I won't tell a soul about this kiss. Satisfied? »**

Hank nodded silently. And just like that, the sweet friendly conversation ended up and it was time to call it a night. Hank was grateful for having Chris this night with him. For distracting him from his heavy deep dark thoughts for some hours. But as soon as he left the house, Hank felt alone again. Utterly alone. He could have gone to bed and tried to sleep his loneliness, but it was a bad assumption. Instead, he did what he knew to do best, and drowned his sorrow inside a bottle, or maybe two, of Jack Daniels. It was some kind of ritual since Cole passed. Every night, it was him and alcohol. For years, drinking his guilty and distress helps him cope with reality, with life. He stopped when Connor moved in with him. Instead of drinking in, they watched movies, talked about stuff, played games even if some days were awful for him, most of them were sweet due to Connor's presence. This android was compassionate, kind, benevolent, even after all he's gone through. Hank really looked upon him for this. He would have killed to be as half stable as Connor. But these days, nothing matters anymore for him and even his android didn't seem to be doing well. He was alone with Sumo. Again. Alone again.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wonder why I keep saying "Hope you enjoyed this chapter" when my chapter is sad, but here am I... I really do you like it in spite of the sadness, or because of it ... I love how Hank and Connor are just fucking lost in reading the other. That what I love writing the most, the misunderstanding, accumulation of little things that droves them away. 
> 
> Any guess on what the next chapter will be about? Or what will happen? ... *No I'm not looking for ideas, I already have planned my chapter 4 and maybe even 5 and a piece of another chapter I don't know where to put but ... I have moment, scenes, I want to write and therefore... I'm writing them ^^
> 
> Hope to see you soon guys <3
> 
> Love.


	4. Get lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love
> 
> Chapter's Title : Get lost
> 
> Complete title : Get Lost
> 
> Author : KeikoAyameA also known as Keiyane, or even Kei. And that's me if you were wondering :D
> 
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannok)
> 
> Rating : T
> 
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream... Except for my fucked mind
> 
> Note : First of all, I want to apologize for the delay. I had (and still have) a lot of school work, and... I get lost in CyberPunk 2077 for a whole week, so I couldn't finish the chapter in time. I'm so, sorry. But next chapter will be posted around 20th of January. Hope you still enjoy this one tho. See ya 
> 
> .
> 
> .

Leaving the sweet embrace of sleep, he sensed someone moving in the bed next to him. He didn't want to open his eyes to this reality. He knew too well what this day will be made of and wasn't eager to live it. His broken heart was still broken, he still missed him and won't see him today. What a wasted day to live through it. He felt crushed under the weight of loneliness and sorrow… yet he opened his eyes and searched for the moving form around him. A huge grin appeared on the face of his partner and he felt a wave of shame and guilt drowning him. Why did he do that? Passing a hand on his face, trying to wash the shame, guilt, sorrow from his thought and life, he always put a fake smile on his face.

**« Hey you. Where do you think you're going? »**

Sitting in the bed, his partner came to him and kissed his lips. Shutting his orbs, he imagined him being here, kissing him rather than being with this real guy. A true smile crossed his lips but vanished as quickly as it came. Reality was his curse.

**« - to DPD. You should come back. People start wondering if you'll…»**

Connor shrugged while looking at him. **« And what? Do I have to live to please people? I don't think so! »**

The man smiled and stole another kiss from Connor while replying. **« You want to bite Connor? Keep that for tonight. »**

Connor would have smiled if it wasn't for Gavin. Instead, he decided to not listen to people and did what he wanted to. He grabbed Gavin by his shirt and pulled him closer, on the bed. **« I don't want to wait. Stay. »**

**« Some needs to work you know. »**

Connor heard Gavin, but didn't give a damn about what he was saying. He needed something and wasn't ready to let go.

**« I know you're dying to fuck me… Right? »**

Connor let a beautiful pleading smile leave his lips while he pushed Gavin on his back and straddle him. He started kissing his neck, even if he hated the contact with his 3-days beard. Hank's was much softer. Closing his eyes again, he began to pretend it was Hank below him. Hank that put his hands on him. Hank that caressed his back. Hank that, was moaning and complaining about what he was doing.

**« Connor, you're the worst! »**

He bent a little more and whispered in a low sexy voice.

**« Didn't say that tonight… »**

And without waiting for his approval, Connor unbuttoned slowly but surely his shirt while starting to kiss him again. But before he could really touch his neck-skin, Gavin captured his pinky lips, surrendering himself to the android's desire.

When Connor wasn't actually busy with Gavin giving him pleasure, he felt awful for what he was doing. He didn't really know why he started this sex-based relationship but something broke inside him a little more, every time. Hank's absence left a huge space Connor didn't know how to fill. So instead of feeling alone and lost, he literally lost himself with Gavin, pretending it was Hank. They aren't alike and some things just didn't fit at all but the only blind man is he who does not wish to see. And Connor wasn't ready to see or feel again. Instead, he let Gavin, the most despicable human he knew, touch him intimately, instead of being with the only one who made his thirium pump go crazy.

**« I said a lot of things... »**

Connor was smiling, Gavin was a child loving to argue about everything, every time.

**« In fact you weren't eloquent. You were just groaning »**

Two can play this game and the Android was pretty strong at being sass. His smirk on his face was leaving as he pressed his naked body against the clothed one. It was all fun and games but Connor only wanted to not be able to think about a thing. Just get lost in true pleasure, losing his mind, and not feeling like crap, as he was feeling every second of those days, like right now.

**« Stop talking. Start fucking or you'll be very late. »**

It wasn't a request, more like an order. Gavin didn't listen to Connor in the day or at all. The only moment he wasn't reluctant to hear him and do as he pleased was when Connor ask for sex. The android was glad about it. It meant Gavin wasn't falling for him, as far as he knew how humans interact and this one in particular. He let out a sigh when Gavin opened his mouth again.

**« Ok. The last. »**

It was wrong to use somebody to erase his pain. It was wrong to throw himself at him like this… But Connor wasn't thinking clearly or he wouldn't be on Gavin unzipping his pants with his dark smile. He wanted so hard to feel good again, no matter how. He needed a break in his life and Gavin was the way out. Still naked from the wild night, Connor was more than ready for another round, and if he had to guess... Gavin was more and more inclined to it; judging by the growing desire he could feel. Gavin or someone else, it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was forgetting Hank…. Losing himself giving love, and care to Gavin's body. Eyes closed, pretended to be with Hank, to feel him caressing his skin, wanting him, kissing him. This wasn't the best way to get rid of someone's thought, yet Connor chose his poison. Lost in his alternate world, he didn't listen to Gavin, he learned quickly to erase his voice from the environment, and just let their bodies speak louder than anything. Incapable of having a conversation, still, Gavin knew exactly how to make him moan and crave for more, like him, he knew what to do to make him crazy. But, he wasn't Hank and Connor could pretend whatever he wanted, the back of his mind still remembered that he wasn't with the one he needed and his heart ached a little more. Intertwined, they kept searching for pleasure, lost in one another. Letting Gavin kissing him everywhere he wanted, speeding his body's movements on Gavin, he only craved the sweet release. Gavin's hands on his butts accompanied him, amplifying the pleasure as his teeth were marking his synthetic neck's skin. He always hated when Gavin did this, but always let him do it anyway. He was only here for his selfish pleasure and didn't care about him, so, if it made him willing to fuck him a little bit more longer, more often... Why not? Pleasure's amplified with every move and soon Connor was on the edge. Speeding a little more, gripping Gavin's shoulders a little harder, he reached paroxysm alone. His mind was gone totally blank. Every system seemed to have shut down, all his strength evaporated. He fell from all his weight on Gavin's shoulders, unable to think about anything. It took him a second or two, to connect back to reality, and get that Gavin wasn't done.

**« Connor, you'r'ok? »**

For reply, he just growled. He hated this kind of thing. Having to still be in contact with him, touched by him, to be this intimate, and keep moving on him to make him come. He just wanted to leave him and run and hide somewhere. He was so ashamed of himself, that he took care to hide his face in Gavin's neck. Hope he won't see him. Hope he'll come soon and Connor would be free of all this uncomfortable, and weird feeling. Like humans, his body was too sensitive right after an orgasm, and he couldn't bear with all those sensations, guilt-triggering. When Gavin's fingers started to crippled on his ass, he knew he would soon be free. A short while after, Gavin came, and Connor felt worse than ever. As soon as he finished, Connor pushed himself out of his embrace, lying on the bed next to him, hiding his face again. Still drunk with the pleasure saturating his brain functions and shame sinking it. He laid on the bed and closed his eyes as a sigh slipped through his lips. Gavin stopped by to kiss his forehead. Why the fuck he was still doing this?

He felt the officer rising from the bed and walking around. Connor ruined his shirt by spreading out himself everywhere on it.

**« You know… you can stay here today… that would be easier for you. »**

What comes from Gavin's mouth was disturbing. It's been two weeks now that Connor passed by Gavin's place on nights… but staying through the day without him around? This was … uncomfortable.

**« No. Give me two minutes and I'll be ready to leave. »**

To prove his words Connor swallowed hard his shame and rose too. Looking for his clothes, he was effective and fast to dress himself. He wanted to get out of this quickly.

**« But You'll be back tonight. You can stay if you don't want to go back to ... »**

Back to what? That was a question Gavin didn't have the answer. Connor dismissed him as he finished buttoning his pants.

**« Go back to what? Hank's house?... »** he took a glimpse at his face that was decomposing under his eyes. He sighed and added **« Plus I won't stay at your place when you're not here. That would be... intrusive. »** And to be fair, Connor wouldn't want to stay here, in a place full of Gavin. Being naked and fucking with him was one thing, but, they weren't in a relationship. They'll never be. So there wasn't a reason for him to stay, even if he decided to come back for more tonight. What bothered him was… Connor was wondering why people always assumed he still lived with him… if only, he would be able to watch him sleep, to be with his buddy Sumo… but he wasn't. He crashed at North's place, it was way better, even if he had a feeling that he should start finding another place to live. He kinda has the feeling he is bothering his friend. Maybe he just wanted to shut the world out of his space. Maybe. He felt terrible. After all, he willingly let Gavin touch him, penetrate him, lick him, and kiss him. What the fuck his mind had gone?

**« I don't mind. »**

Gavin was trying so hard to make him stay….But in vain. Connor was a stubborn android. He sighed again as he threw his t-shirt over his shoulders.

**« I do. Can we close this useless conversation or what? »**

That wasn't because Connor accepted to be fucked by him that he would accept orders or ideas he didn't like.

**« Ok. Will you come back? Do you plan on quitting DPD? »**

Connor didn't find something to answer. He didn't know. He would love to come back, but the idea of seeing Hank again crushed his will every time. He was created to be better than humans, stronger, faster, with a bunch of high-tech skills… He wasn't created to be a useless lost puppy, but here he was. He shook his head while whispering.

**« I don't know. I don't really want to. »**

**« Think about it…. I'm here too. »**

Ok, Gavin was the biggest fucking jerk he knew until this exact moment. Did Gavin offer him his friendship? This thing between them was going wrong, he wasn't planning to be friends with Gavin, or having conversation. All those things scared him, and Connor chose to flee. He put an excuse smile on his lips and after checking that he was decent, he rushed to the door saying.

**« Oh… I need to go. Bye. »**

Gavin let Connor leave like a thief, but he didn't say a word. He just watched him, not really acknowledging what they did, skipped his name most of the time, and now fled without at least a damn poor excuse. Maybe Connor was a high-android, but… he was so bad at being human.

Connor wasn't that clueless but… When they weren't hooking up, Connor could think clearly, and was so ashamed of himself, of what happened, of Gavin's behavior, that he couldn't bear to stay in the same room as him. What would Hank say about all that? And fucking why was he still thinking about his older-partner? What was wrong with himself? Why couldn't he get rid of him? Even with all that sex with Gavin. Even with all those days outside the DPD, far from him…. Even after how he broke his heart, Connor was still thinking about him. As he was returning to North's place, he was wondering what Hank was doing. Maybe he was already on his way to DPD. At this time, he should have almost arrived. Or maybe he went back to his flaws and was running late… Last time he was at the Police station, Hank was still on time. Maybe Hank didn't give a shit about what Connor was doing with his 'so called' life. He sighed and was already at North's door.

When he entered, his eyes found North flying across the living room. Clearly, she was searching for something. She offered him a bright smile when she noticed his presence.

**« You're not at Gavin's place? »**

She has a sweet voice matching her expression, a bit preoccupied maybe with the object of her searches.

**« Has to work. Speaking of work… shouldn't you be with Markus? »**

Connor looked at his watch. Yup. She was late. A first for North.

**« I was. But I remember I forgot a FlashDrive. You didn't see it? »**

Shrugging his shoulders.

**« … The Snake-one? »**

**« Please. It's an important meeting… the regular one. I'm screwed if I didn't find it…. ra9 … »**

Connor came near his friend and held her by her shoulders while locking his eyes with hers.

**« Stop it. You're a strong independent woman. Give me 5 I'll find it. Did you work overnight on it, like always? »**

She relaxed a bit, only because it was Connor. He knew her flaws and she knew his. She nodded at his question and double-checked her bag, trying to remember what she did with it.

Connor went to North's bedroom. She worked overnight… so he looked for her laptop, her bed, etc… the room was empty. He clicked his tongue, frustrated while he pursued the next more probable room: the living room. Clear. Biting his inner cheek, frowning his eyebrows, he went to the kitchen. Soon after that...

**« Hehe! »**

Hearing Connor, she felt relief. She knew instantly that he found it and jumped on him, drowning him with a big hug.

**« You saved it. Thanks to you androids would maybe soon have the right to vote! You're a genius! »**

He blushed a little uncomfortable with everything that happened in his life right now. He shrugged again his shoulders while answering emotionlessly.

**« You guys worked on it so hard. Not me. »**

He was proud of North and everything she was doing in her life. She turned out to be stable, joyful, and has everything figured out. Why was he so lost? Why wouldn't Hank leave his mind?

North frowned at Connor. He looked so … detached. She glimpsed a look at the time and slid a text to Markus without Connor noticing it.

**« Connor… are you okay? Do you need to talk? »**

Suddenly snapping back to reality, he faked a smile.

**« I'm fine. You should go to your meeting. »**

She stared at him with a dead serious look. Her feet, he was fine… and so what? Chickens have teeth now?

**« Is it because of Gavin? Bad sex then?»**

She tried a joke but the blank face of Connor told her that something was really wrong with him. Gently, she put her hand on his forearms while searching through his eyes. He was a pro at hiding things. She knew that, that's why she was so concerned. Connor trying to fake being fine means, he was hell bad. But this fucking stubborn android didn't seem to understand the benefits of admitting you need help sometimes.

**« Bring on it. I can hear everything. Except for the sex noise Gavin makes… But you'll spare me, right ? »**

She was still trying to joke, just to ease the atmosphere, but not sure it would work at all. Connor was so focused, so… Workaholic? So for him to be hanging around in her apartment doing nothing except getting out to fuck with this human bag of shit named Gavin… She tried to give him space… but at this rate… He will still be hanging around her place in 50 years.

Connor finally let a sigh out of his lips.

**« Gavin talked to me about... coming back to DPD. »** His eyes were aiming for the ground, his heart was so heavy and squeezed... **« But.. He will be there. I don't know… »**

He didn't have to specify whom he was talking about. She knew it was all about Hank Anderson. This dude was the weakness Connor couldn't get rid of. The only one that broke his heart. The first one to. She took a breath and smiled sweetly.

**«You need to do something with your days. Yes, you'll see him at the station. Yes, it will be hard. But you suffer here too. Hiding won't help to heal or it would have done it since then. Don't you think ?»**

He looked at her. She was partially right. He was still aching. **« I can't, North... I can't face him again. »** Connor was trying hard to fight his tears from flowing.

**« Look at me, Connor. You're strong and brave. You never back down from a risky situation. You've done worse than that. And you can always come back here and hide if it's too much for you. But you have to try… »**

**« I'm not the Connor I used to be. I'm not a machine anymore. I'm not strong. »**

Did Connor was fucking kidding her or what? How could he ignore his strength like this? Being with Hank made him forget how brave he was or what? She sighed.

**« You're the one that came back, fighting soldiers to save me and Markus on Jericho. You. Not your program. Machine Connor didn't know fear, he couldn't be strong and brave. You faced certain death, going back to Cyberlife to free thousands of our brothers and sisters. You succeed to save Hank's life, to defeat your evil twin machine, and to free androids. You alone. »** She paused and looked at him in the eyes, dead serious. He needed to believe in himself more than what he was doing right now. **«Don't you dare to say you're not strong, nor brave, nor awesome! You can do anything you put your mind to. I believe in you more than you could imagine Connor. And if Hank couldn't see all that... Then fucking screw this meat-bag. »** She offered him a supportive smile. She wasn't angry against Anderson, she was just trying to be supportive of his friend and make him realize his worth. After what they've been through, him with the Amanda thing, and her with her sexual exploitation; believe in themselves as androids trying to fit in a humans society was just a very hard thing to do. They needed support and that was exactly what they were doing at Jericho's facility. Taking care of androids and helping them to fit while staying themselves. She wasn't much observant as Connor, but she came to the conclusion that half of the humans were as lost as they were. Maybe the environment defined them so much that they lost themselves, so why wouldn't this happen to androids too?

She was trying too hard to lift his mind, and this was kinda working. When words were coming out of her lips this made so much sense. He understood what she was saying. She was right. He did this. Him, alone. He deviated and helped Jericho. He deviated, and free androids from their programs to win more weight in the march. He deviated and was ready to lose this fight only to keep Hank alive and safe. He knew for a long time now, that he loved him almost from the start. Hank was the reason he deviated. Markus made him choose, but it was Hank that showed him how to be more than a machine, who challenged his programming and forced him to feel, to think, to love. Was he naïve? Was he stupid?

He hugged her, tightly, close to his pump, and finally whispered.

**« You should go. I can't be the reason androids lose the right to vote... »** He was trying to do a joke too… But mostly, he would feel so guilty if she stayed for him and he couldn't take more guilt. Not today. Not now. His wary smile raised questions in her, but… she pretended to not see it.

**« You know I would choose you over any work, anything Connor. »** She, yet, offered him a soft smile.

**« Tell Markus I say hi. »**

The irony in his voice let her roll her eyes. She sighed to him with a smile while shaking her head.

**« I never understood what happened with the two of you... »**

**« 'Know what… He thought I was trying to hook up with you. We fought. That's why I left Jericho. »** This was history. I mean, how could Markus believe Connor was trying to seduce North? Connor had fallen for Hank even before he deviated and at that time, he had a girlfriend already…

North let a laugh come out of her mouth. **« That's why he dumped me for Simon soon after. This guy makes no sense sometimes! »**

Connor and North shared a laugh. He wasn't a fan of Markus because of this fight, but in Androids's fight for their rights, he was a fucking awesome leader, so he respected him. But when it comes to his love life, Markus seemed to be like Connor: messy and clueless. He let out a sigh while looking at her.

**« You'll be late, don't you? Just go. I'm fine. I promise. »** He forced a smile on his face….

Little did he knew that she wasn't fooled by him, not a bit. But, yes she was running out of time, and Connor didn't seem to want to open up. Could she force him? Not sure, and she didn't want to jeopardize their friendship. Sure thing sure, tonight, or next time they see each other she'll try better to get to understand what it's inside his little head. But for now, she had to go, and he had to decide for himself what he wanted to be.

**« Ok I'll go. »** She looked at him once more while she headed to the entrance's door. **« Love you Connor. See ya. »** Letting a smile flashed on her face as she walked out.

**« Love you North. 'til next time. »** He replied like always when they leave each other. They loved each other, but a friend kind of love. She was his best friend in the world, and he wouldn't survive the post-revolution without her and Hank. She was the android stability, and Hank was his hope for the future. So naive. So stupid. He should have known better, humans couldn't love him. In fact, no one could ever love him. He was designed to track his own people, to put an end to the revolution. He did kill androids, and humans along the way… How could he ever thought someone could love him romantically?

As soon as she was out of her place, Connor sat down and took a second or two to think. He did that a lot lately… Thinking about how ugly he was on the inside. Maybe that's why Hank didn't love him, and why there was just Gavin here for him. Did he really think so little of himself? Yes. He did. He was lost. He lost himself when he lost Hank. He opened his phone and stared at Hank's number. He wanted so much to call him, to settle things between them, but… Hank ignored him first… So… Did he have the right to call him? To bother him with his issues caused by Hank himself? He sighed and locked his screen phone, throwing it on the poor table.

**« Pff, Get lost, Hank. »**

Pissed at himself for being this weak, he decided to dress up and fucking go back to DPD. He was right to throw a tantrum at his Captain last time. He was right, after everyone getting on his nerves like this. And Hank… Saving Gavin's ass instead of him… Humans covered humans. Hatred slowly, but surely pervade his heart… Captain was covering Gavin's behavior. Then, Hank was saving Gavin's ass. He never thought a day would come where Hank would do that for this asshole. Even Ben pissed him about Hank. Like every human was designed to get him in trouble at DPD. He'll show them! You don't fucking messed up with Connor RK800's android. He was going to crush them by coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
> .
> 
> Yes yes, this was all about Connor, like the previous one was all about Hank's feelings. I can tell you, next one will be both of them. I still hesitate with one small thing so I won't tell more... But expect more of Hankcon, and ... Just more. I gotta say, I love my North, and that's how I see her growing after DBH. I can tell you, that she will appear in some other chapter too... 
> 
> If you find "Chickens have teeth now?" weird, that would be because it's a French expression we use. Most of the time we use it like "When it will be freezing in Hell" to mean "never" or something that will never happen. But sometimes we can use it like "my feet!" to mean, We know it's bullshit that was told to us and we don't believe it. I love this expression that why I translate it, words to words rather than use one that already existed in English. Sorry I'm weak xD.
> 
> As you can tell for now, I tend to overwrite feelings, emotions, internal monologue. Maybe I should have started by telling you how I suck about descriptions .... But I guess if you are still reading this, it means, you kinda like my writing style, or at least you still like something in what I write, or how I write, or ... I don't know xD.
> 
> Anyway, be safe and happy. Xoxoxo


	5. I wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiction's Title : Shapes of Love
> 
> Chapter's Title : I Wish
> 
> Complete title : I wish you talk to me
> 
> Author : KeikoAyameA also known as Keiyane, or even Kei. And that's me if you were wondering :D
> 
> Couple (Pairing) : HankCon (Hannor)
> 
> Rating : T
> 
> Disclaimer : Everything is owned by Quantic Dream... Except for my fucked mind
> 
> Note : Hi everyone, how you're doing? Sorry, I miss the date... I was caught with some stuff and no idea about this chapter. But, I'm kinda glad how it turned out, so I hope you enjoy it :3

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Shortly after deciding which outfit he will wear for his big come back at DPD, Connor was on his way. He wasn't human, still, his stomach was upside down. A feeling he got used to analyse as anxiety. He could say whatever he wanted and tried to convince himself that he would impose himself and be a tough guy…. He wasn't that tough. He never was, and that was something even North never understood. But, this was it. He couldn't back down. He was at the threshold and felt already out of place. Why did he decide to come back again? He sighed, only to breathe courage, and entered. He felt out of place. He felt their look on him, again. He sensed their whispers and could almost taste their bitterness. Why did he decide to come back? Why? He let out a sigh again as he crossed the main office hall. His aim was simple: going to his desk and letting his synthetic butt sit on his chair. But, half-way he glanced at his Captain office and found him looking at him. No words were needed. He knew exactly that Captain Fowler wanted to talk to him before anything. He clicked his tongue, frustrated as nothing seemed to go as planned. Still he went to his desk…. In fact, he froze at its sight. Something felt different. Connor inspected by eyes his desk without knowing what, or why, but… Something was different. Frowning, he looked at every plushies, at his mind games, at every trace of dust, but… Something was different. He clicked his tongue again without breaking eye contact with those wood planks. He barely heard Chris talking to him.

**« Good to see you back Connor… You're back, aren't you?»**

His voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Turning to face Chris, he barely smiled while replying.

 **« Thank you Chris. I think you're the only one to feel that way… »** He paused, his heart was breaking as he thought of Hank. AGAIN. How could he get rid of him? He sighed and continued. **« Maybe. We'll see. Something is weird with my desk. Do you know what? »**

He wasn't really asking, he was wondering out loud. This feeling got him all mixed up. His assurance was all of sudden gone who knows where.

 **« I know I'm not. But I'm sorry you feel this way. Chief wants to see you, right? »** He glanced at Connor's concern and … remembered that evening when Hank grabbed one of the plushies. Sure he won't tell that or anything Hank confessed this night. **« Maybe the cleaning service misplaced one of your stuff. »** He couldn't resist the urge to take a glimpse at Hank sitting at his desk without piping words from the start. It was highly uncomfortable but Hank seemed to nod gently without looking at him.

Connor took his time watching his treasured plushies while considering Chris's words. Maybe it was the explanation. Maybe, he read too much into it. But, still, something felt wrong. He frowned again, clicking his tongue again too, and finally let out a sigh, not convinced at all. **« Right. Maybe. »** He paused, before picking up where he left. **« I better... »**

Chris nodded and let Connor headed to the Chief's office. His look lingered on Hank as he came closer to his friend and told him, low so only his friend could hear him. **« You should speak to him. See, he thought you don't care about him... »** But before adding something Hank cut him.

 **« No. I shouldn't do anything. He left and ignores me. He doesn't care about what I could be thinking. Stop doing this. »** His blues eyes locked on Chris's face as he stood up. **« There is nothing left between us. Period. »**

Hank would love to be wrong, but seeing how Connor didn't even fucking care about him… Hell, he has to think straight. Thinking about Connor, and his behavior tended to drove him crazy. He couldn't figure out what happened, or how to get things better… and he was stubborn. He wouldn't start talking to the android, because it was Connor's fault, not his… At least, he thought. He didn't even really know. This was so fucking messy, and weighted on him… This kind of thought broke his heart, but still his eyes searched the person he loved. At this moment his blue gaze found the brown-one looking at him and a shiver ran down his back.

Connor was right in front of Captain Fowler. As soon as he walked into his office, he got lectured about his behavior… and disconnected. He didn't want to listen to it. He didn't want to be blamed again for wanting what was right. He just wanted to come back and stare at Hank all day long… But he couldn't even do this. He was careful to not look at him even with his dying willing heart, until now... He let the voice of Fowler ringing to his ears like music while zoning out. If only he knew what happened with Hank, or how to fix it… how to fix himself to be likable by his old partner… He could be whatever he wanted, he already told Hank this, but… It seemed Connor failed at this game. Thinking so much about him was bad for the android, still he couldn't think about anything or anyone else but Hank. He would kill to feel him close to him, to feel his warmth and presence next to him… And what he would do to be kissed by him once more. Irremediably attracted to him, he couldn't keep his eyes off the older. He was disconcerted to meet his gaze. Connor felt his hands becoming numb looking at him. He couldn't understand his loved one and kept staring at him. If only he could make him understand how hurt he was, all his pain, his loneliness, his love for him. If only Hank knew what he caused in the Android… but words wouldn't come out, and Connor wasn't willing to start a conversation with the one that pushed him away once.

Hank couldn't break eye contact... It was the closest they've been in weeks. He only got this… He was wondering how Connor could leave him without turning back, without a word nor explanation. What did he do wrong? What did he didn't do? He was left with doubts and "what if" questions. He missed him every second of the day, at DPD, but worst was at home. He got used to having someone there, to be with someone he loved, to live with him, talk, share a house, a couch, time, Sumo… He never thought loneliness would be this hard, not after losing Cole and divorcing his wife. Connor was right there, in front of his eyes, a few meters away from him, staring at him, like he was staring at the android. He wanted to walk to him, to reduce the distance to zero and take him in his arms… Even a friendly hug, but at least feeling him next to him and on good terms. The silence between them, avoidance, and indifference were going to kill him, yet he did nothing to make things better. He tried nothing. All this was a huge mess, a year wasted, and now his brain was full of memories he couldn't erase. The worst memory was this kiss. The first, and the last kiss they will ever share. His chest tightened a little more. If only he knew what to do.

Connor either couldn't take his eyes off him. He had this crazy thought… Maybe they could fix everything. Maybe he would only take, Connor running into Hank's arms… Or maybe Connor just watched too many soap-romance movies… His heart only wanted to go to Hank and do something… but his mind wouldn't agree. He couldn't think about Hank without dying to hug him and to slap the shit out of him too. That was Hank's fault. This old fucking human. His lower lip started shaking imperceptibly… He knew this emotion too well. His vision became more and more blurred, yet Connor tightened his expression trying to fight his uglies tears from falling. He couldn't fall in pieces here, right in front of them all. He had to be strong. He clenched his fists to keep composure.

On the other side of this meaningful look, there was Hank. How could he leave Connor like this? He wouldn't. He couldn't… Yet, sensing the android's expression hardens, he felt rejected, again. Did looking at him make Connor uncomfortable? He saw his fist clenched, and his heart agonized a little more. So Connor did really hate him so much that he couldn't even bear to look at him? So it was true. Connor should have reported him for assault if he hated Hank that much. It was weird, things didn't seem to add up, yet he should face the truth… The Connor he loved, this Connor, did not love him at all, even in a friendly way. He didn't know what he did to make him feel like that, but … He couldn't know any more now. Heavy-hearted, he let out a sigh and turned his head away. Things won't change anymore now. Connor was lost to him, as he hated the old human. The wound was deep and bleeding; so it hurt like hell and Hank preferred to leave and try to do something useful for today to pass by faster… To ignore the hurt until he could drink it away.

Seeing his love turning away from him killed the last ounce of hope he had for the day to be decent. Why the fuck did he wake up today? Why couldn't he just never wake up? Why did he have to live this? He was crushed by dismay and distress. All he ever thought was true, or right in the world just hit the ground. Hank couldn't stand to watch him and chose to leave. Again. Hank left him. It took him a second or two to process the fact that he will never love him, just as an ugly voice bothers him.

**« Connor?! Did you listen to what I've said? »**

His eyes had turn black and his already clenched fists just get tighter. Rage was submerging him and Connor wasn't willing to champ at the bit. **« No I didn't, why should I did?! You're only good at lecturing me! »** Connor was really pissed, because of what the captain was saying, because of how Hank left him, again... Humans only did harm him. He should have known better. Kamski was crazy, but apparently being crazy and hurt androids were the only things humans were good at. He pointed his finger at his Captain and articulate for him. **« Listen to me for once. I won't apologize. I don't intend to belittle me for the sake of humans anymore. I won't let anyone disrespect me anymore and if I have to break a nose, a bone, or two in the process, then be it! They don't deserve any less! »** He stared at Fowler, waiting for an answer because his face was quite surprised.

And how to not be surprised when the Connor he knew unfold his hatred and just said hurtful things like that. He was so kind… Guess everyone has a rupture point, and Connor seemed to have reached it. He pinched his nose bridge and started **« I know I'm the one who told you to change the way you handle Gavin, but… Do you have to be this extreme? »**

The android lingered his heavily darkened eyes on his Captain and smuggling said **« Or I quit. »**

He was dead serious and Captain Fowler just sighed lowering his head. **« Jez' Connor… If you break a bone you'll have to be mentally supervised. Do you understand? »**

 **« Yeah, whatever. »** He rolled his eyes… Like a shrink would understand what he did go through. The conversation seemed finished so Connor headed to the door as Fowler just added.

**« I miss the old Connor. »**

Shaking his head he restrained a sigh. **« We all miss something we can't have. Deal with it. »** It wasn't harsh, for a change. It was just Connor saying the truth; he did miss Hank and what they had… but now everything was different and they all have to get used to it. And Fowler didn't add things nor stopped him from leaving; he was just intrigued and pained to see Connor in this state. He didn't know how to help him but he will investigate his change of behavior.

He left the office and tried to work like nothing ever happened, but everything felt weird today. They looked at him and whispered. Hank was breathing less than 2 meters apart from him. Gavin was giving him a lot of attention and Ben was ignoring him. He was glad that Ben cut him some slack, but if he was waiting for the android to apologize, he could wait forever. Fed up to feel Hank by his side without being able to stare at him or even talk to him, he needed to get up and walk. He put himself in a corner of the DPD where he could watch Hank as pleased. On his phone, scrolling like a real human between news he didn't even care about, just to pretend to do something, Chris came to him with a smile.

 **« Still here I see. Good news then?»** Chris was friendly, and smiling, and Connor needed that: a friend.

 **« Who knows? At least no one is talking to me about Anderson anymore. »** He let a fake smile across his face while his heart was still aching like hell… Like his blue blood was replaced by something acid. A glance to Chris's face and his smile cracked. « Not you. Please! » Connor rolled his eyes.

**« I won't ask what happened or else… I just have one piece of advice for you. That's it. Would you hear it? »**

Looking at him, Connor was wondering if he needed to hear it or not. At least, he didn't want to talk about what happened or not between the two of us… But still, Hank broke his heart. He took a glimpse at Hank's back sitting at his office and sighed.

**« Just the advice, period. »**

Chris nodded while smiling friendly. This officer was really someone nice… but Connor used to think the same about Ben, and Ben forced him into a conversation he didn't want to have. Thinking about it again just got Connor on the edge.

 **« Ok, my advice is simple: You should talk to him. You should talk and work it out together. »** His marriage gave him this wisdom. Everything, or almost, could be worked out by talking to, trusting, and knowing the other. But, he faced a wall, like with Hank.

 **« Talk? Why would I do that, hun? Did he tell you what happened? Did he tell you why suddenly he won't talk to me or acknowledge my presence? »** Connor was losing it, again. His fists clenched as a reflex, and his thirium pump started pumping faster as the time passed by.

Chris tried to appease him by showing his hand to surrender.

**« No. He didn't tell me a thing. But you left his place, didn't you? »**

**« So what? He stopped talking to me before that! »** His fists clenched even more, causing his articulations to become more white than normally.

Chris just saw how Connor was becoming mad about Hank, and this conversation, and realized he was wrong to have stepped into this mess. **« I'm sorry Connor. You said you won't talk about it, and… I didn't respect that. I'm deeply sorry. I will never talk about it. »**

**« Nevermind! »**

But Connor was mad. He didn't blame Chris for this… but sure as hell, he was ready to start a fight and decided to see the principal protagonist of his anger. His steps led him to Hank, where he turned his chair to face the man. Diving in his blues eyes made anger grow and weaken at the same time. A part of him just wanted to put his lips on Hank's and pray for everything to turn out fine… but another part just wanted to slap him hard, so Connor just spit in his face.

**« You have something to say?! Then say it rather than sending your friend like you're five! Be a fucking man! »**

Hank was quietly at his desk, minding his own business, mostly wondering about Connor, and half daydreaming he kissed him again, and worse… working was hard, but out of nowhere there he was, facing him. Facing those flames in his eyes. Connor was really pissed, and he was the reason, apparently. He let him spit what he had on his heart and found nothing more interesting to answer than a … **« Good. »** Why good? Nobody knows, not even his brain. He froze by the proximity of his young lover, by the red of his tempting lips, by the fire in his look and anger deforming his face. If only kissing him could fix everything… but no. Connor hated him, didn't know why, but he really did hate him.

His "good" took Connor by surprise, and all his anger was … blocked. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do with it. Hank could have insulted him, he could have said something. But no. Nothing. No response from him. Hank, again, hurt him. The android repeated the word angrily, and just went back to his chair. He put his ass on it, and stared at his terminal without knowing what to do. Eyes were tingling, vision started to blur again. Holy shit, he wanted to cry once more. He bit the inside of his cheek, but this pain just added to his pain. He bit so hard, a weird taste was felt. This bittersweet taste came from his own blood flooding in his mouth. Connor didn't let a noise out, and bear it in silence. This day was a shitty one. He should never have come back. It was a huge mistake.

Seeing Connor fixing his terminal angrily was too much for him. This day was over. He decided to leave, and walked to the parking lot. Connor was absent for days, and at the exact moment when he came back he just yelled at him. Thoughts of him never left his mind, not even a second… Yet, Connor hated him. He should have seen this coming, instead of being caught by surprise. That's when Chris decided to follow after him.

**« Hank, what are you doing? »**

He couldn't. No, he just couldn't pretend everything was normal. He loved Connor. Truly, with all his heart, and this was scary, and wrong, and he deserved this pain… But he couldn't handle it any more for today. Ignoring him, he kept walking to his car but suddenly stopped and faced Chris, it was his turn to be angry.

 **« I told you to leave him alone! But the fuck had you listen?! Of course no! Why would you, huh? »** He paused looking at his friend who became silent. **« I was married! I know this shit! and when to give up! »**

 **« I just gave him the same advice, to talk to each other! I'm pretty sure it's a misunderstanding like most of the fights in couples. »** Chris was a sweet adult, but right now Hank would love to skin him alive.

 **« When your wife forces you to see her family, it's not a misunderstanding! When you kill your son and your wife just goes on like the seven last years never happened, it's not a fucking misunderstanding! So keep your fucking illusions but stop projecting on me! »** Hell yeah Hank was not happy, and thankfully there wasn't a soul in this parking.

**« You're a pain in the ass. »**

And Chris head back to the DPD, but not before Hank could answer

 **« I know! That's why I'm divorced! »** Without another word Hank climbed in his car and left.

.

In the middle of the afternoon Connor was so bored that he went to the cafeteria. He didn't drink, but found some cup to play with. His hands were occupied as his mind wandered. He didn't know how long he was there before a familiar voice talked to him.

**« 'How's your day? »**

Connor raised his brown eyes on Gavin's face like he appeared as if by magic, and sighed before returning to his lost world.

**« Terrifying. Captain scolded me like a child, everyone got on my nerves and I'm bored to death… I don't know why I came back… »**

Gavin approached him with a hot coffee mug in his hands.

**« Give it some time. Everything will fall back in pieces sooner or later... »**

Taking another look at Gavin, Connor was lost again, but this time it has everything to do with the detective in front of him.

**« This day is shitty. »**

He gave him a warry smile, and lowered his voice **« I can improve it. Meet me in ten; paper archive's room. »**

What he had to lose? He let Gavin walk away. Hank was nowhere to be found. This old bastard might have left and let him alone, again. Why would Hank hate him that much? What did he do? He just dismissed him without letting him express his anger. Hank didn't give a fuck about his feelings. He should have known, but his "good" just got stuck in Connor's throat. He wouldn't want to think about Gavin's proposition, but his day was so shitty… that he couldn't help himself and found this paper archive's room. Opening the door, he was looking for Gavin. But as soon as he put a foot in the room, someone grabbed him, and pushed him against the wall kissing him. It wasn't Hank. Didn't know why his foolish heart almost believed Hank could have done it, but his expectations were deceived.

Breathing his perfume and feeling his hands on his body, he couldn't mistake him longer. It was Gavin. Instead of pushing him back, Connor drew in him closer pulling by his collar. The android bit his lower lip to deepen the kiss. He couldn't change Hank nor his feelings for him. So, what choice was left? He chose to take advantage of Gavin's body and his willingness to make him feel better. Craving for something he knew would come, Connor kept him close putting his arms around his neck. Gavin didn't seem to try to run away, but on the contrary, he pressed his body against Connor who left a sigh out of his lips. Naturally, he let space for Gavin to fill right between his tights. He didn't have long to wait to feel Gavin's tight pressing against his lower abdomen. Desires started to sink in his body, his breath became shorter, yet Connor was pursuing Gavin for more contact as his hands get rid of Gavin's jacket. He didn't even hear the sound of the textile on the ground, monopolized with their breaths. Gavin lit a fire Connor wanted so much to feel until the very end but, this detective started to leave his lips and Connor wasn't happy about it. He was ready to complain about it, but his shirt was pulled out of his pants and warm hands ran on his synthetic skin shutting him.

Gavin played with pressure on his lower part, letting him moaning against his will. **«More. »** What was he doing? Losing his mind, clearly.

He heard himself asking him and he had pity for himself. Connor was addicted to pleasure but disgusted with himself at the same time. Nevertheless, his counterpart had pity for him so he started kissing his neck, and gently, too gently for Connor, heading lower and lower as he unbuttons Connor's shirt. This guy was too good at this and it hurt. His growing desires had almost no place else to go, and still, every heartbeat was hanging around Gavin's lips on his body. He hated every second, yet he moans again and again. Trying to refrain himself, he bit his lips, but couldn't help much. He wanted Gavin to do more. To touch him more, again, again. God, he wanted this more than anything on earth right now. But Gavin was a motherfucker, and stopped to look at him.

**« Seems you're having too much fun. »**

He had a smile that Connor could only imagine while being in the dark.

 **«... Don't stop. »** He paused, hesitant to beg for pleasure, but, he didn't have to lower himself to that. This time, Connor wasn't thinking about Hank. Lost for lost, he could at least try to make this sexual relationship work, at least that's how he justified himself.

Gavin didn't make him wait too long as he licked and bit Connor's nipples. The Android lost his mind, doing more than moaning. He started pressing his lower part against Gavin, trying to have more and more pleasure as Gavin wasn't willing to touch him more. The detective liked what he was doing to this poor android, and while still making him crazy with his tongue on his nipples, he freed a little Connor's parts by unbuttoning his pants. A sigh of relief and frustration left Connor's lips, but Gavin was already on it. He was sliding his hand under Connor's underwear...

**«... Gavin… Plea- »**

As the door opened abruptly while Connor was moaning for more. Half-way to Connor's dick, his hand stayed on hold, and his mouth stopped playing with Connor's poor littles defenseless nipples.

Connor didn't like the sudden stop, and neither liked the intruder. The light switched on, and someone entered the room

**« Don't mind me, I'm just picking up two boxes and leaving. Processed. »**

Half-naked, with a hand in his underwear, so close to touching his virility, Connor was pissed off and embarrassed. Luckily, Gavin's body covered him, but the Detective wasn't happy about what was happening too. Both of them were scrutinizing the intruder that searched through boxes in the room. He picked the two boxes he wanted and was on his way to leave, when he added.

**« I didn't see anything... But, if you could... Just not messed up the box on your journey, will be much appreciated. »**

**« Get the fuck out! »** Gavin was always charming.

 **« Detective Reed & Bayson. »** greeted the intruder while leaving.

Gavin took a look at Connor that was mortified and puzzled.

**« Are you okay? »**

Cautiously, Gavin was retiring his hand, and left space for the android. He could tell that Connor wasn't in the mood anymore because of this guy.

**« Who is he? »**

**« A fucking annoying nerd... Black-something. »** Gavin frowned, Connor looked preoccupied, and this wasn't a good sign, never.

**« Basically you replaced me in DPD... »**

**« Replaced you? Are you kidding? It's a paper pusher. And it's been here for two or three months. »**

Connor turned his look to Gavin who didn't understand what was happening in his android's mind.

**« He is a spitting image of me. I never saw him before. »**

**« Of course you did! You were presented the day he arrived... »** He paused kinda shocked by Connor's reactions. **« Remember how you complimented his eyes right before Hank shook hands with this snake? »**

It was Connor's turn to frown. This motherfucker face didn't ring a bell in his memories. How could he forget another android with his facial feature? Sure enough, he had dark hair and deep blues eyes, darker than Hank's but, still... He looked just like him. A little bit slimmer, a bit taller, but, he was like him. He wasn't the only Connor, and now he had a twin? This day get more awful as time passed by. He headed to the door, wanting to leave this room, Gavin, the DPD, Hank the deserter. He wanted to run to North's place and just wait for times to pass. But Gavin restrained him by the arm.

**« Connor, you should dress yourself before leaving. »**

Frowning again, he took a look at himself, to find his pant open and his chest bared. He sighed, frustrated as Gavin come closer to help him.

**« You can talk to me. What's wrong? »**

But this android was a stubborn piece of plastic.

 **« Stop it. Don't pretend you care. Don't do this. »** He paused and as he gesticulated towards where they were before **« This moment is over. Let me alone. Leave. »**

People had trouble understanding how directive Connor could be when he wanted. But this android didn't like when people wouldn't comply.

**« I know something bothers you. Tell me. »**

**« I told you to stop this and leave. Are humans deaf? That would explain a lot of things! »** He was losing patience, and he didn't have much, those times. He got rid of Gavin's hands, and finished dressing himself up while looking at this human pretending to care about the sextoy android he was. **« Get out Gavin. Now. »**

But Gavin wouldn't leave, he was still here in front of him, hesitating to touch his face. He knew something was wrong. Who could not know this fact? Everyone at DPD knew something was off with Connor, for weeks now. Some tried to ask, some tried to stay out of his path, but Gavin was stupid enough to accept him in his bed and try to talk sense to him. Waste of time but, Gavin was a fool. He raised his hand toward Connor's face; Connor brushed him off before he could touch him. His anger increased while Gavin still ignored what he wanted, what he needed. Humans always patronized him, always told him what he wanted, what he needed, what he should be feeling, thinking, doing, what he was allowed to do and forbidden. This end, here. **« FUCKING, GET OUT! »** And without waiting for Gavin to connect those two brain cells he still had, Connor pushed him through the open door, and closed the door right behind him. He wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone. He had too many emotions that he didn't know how to handle. Hank wasn't here. That motherfucker left him... That old bastard hurt him as no one else could ever. His anger wasn't dried up. He let himself kicked, and overturned boxes, just calm down but nothing did do. He kept kicking boxes, raging, fulminating against himself, against humans, his weakness, his precious Hank, his weird Gavin, and even that Android looking just like him.

All this should have made him feel better. But, it wasn't. In fact, he crumbled on the floor bursting in tears like a child. This pain was too heavy to bear. His poor shoulders broke under this weight. Hank's rejection was harder than he thought to manage. He didn't manage it at all. He was underwater trying so hard to breathe. In vain. He couldn't escape his pain, he couldn't escape Hank's face following him everywhere he goes because his sweet older face was inked in his memories. Because the sweetness of his lips kept playing on repeat in his mind. Because he craved for his hands on his body. His presence. His perfume. And don't get him started about having lost his best friend Sumo. Sumo's contact was missed too. He was sweet, Connor loved how unbothered he was about everything. How Sumo came to him to be petted. How something Connor would sleep beside this huge furball. How his life could turn this pathetic? This useless?

He stayed, here, alone, crying until he felt sore... And even then, his pain would still be there for him. Always.

.

Spending hours drinking at his favorite bar, pretending to listen to the TV, he decided to leave. He spent his whole afternoon, and almost night at his bar. Drinking his solitude. Drinking a dissapointing love. He knew he deserved to suffer after what happen to his son. He shouldn't find love again, nor move on. He didn't feel he had the right to. But after spending all this time thinking about Connor, like always... Maybe he should do something about it. His anger on his face. The hatred in his eyes. How could Connor hated him that much without him noticing before? Was him so blinded by his love? Did he forget to watch Connor? To truly see him for what he was? For what he felt? Chris might have been right. Maybe they should speak together and have an explication about all this mess.

So Hank left the bar, thinking that maybe they could fix some of this disaster tonight. If Connor left Hank's place, he might have gone to North's. Hank wasn't really familiar with her, but at least he knew where she did live. He remember meeting her a few times when Connor was still living at Jericho's facility. They seemed close, he was happy that at least he had an android friend who could understand him. Sometimes he was a little bit jaleous, thought he would love to be the one's Connor seeked to confide in.

Arriving at North's place, he knocked and waited patiently for her to come. When she opened the door she wasn't happy about it. Looking at Hank she let a **« Are you kidding? »**

But Hank wasn't really aware of what bothered her. Instead he just kindly said.

**« I need to talk to him. »**

She looked at him and laugh, a forced laugh, until she answered.

**« Do you know what time is it? It's fucking 2 AM. I should be sleeping, and you even more. »**

He sighed, beaten, but not defeated.

**« Please, North. This can't go on. We should talk. I'm sure you know it well. »**

She crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe.

**« That was before you needed to talk. How could you did this to him? »**

Puzzled he looked at her. She wasn't angry, but clearly she disapproved something. She knew what was going on with Connor.

**« Did what? Enlight me please. »**

**« You know what. And if you don't, then you're dumber than I thought. »**

She wasn't nice to him, he was slightly drunk, and he just wanted to talk to Connor. To hear his voice. To see his face.

**« Ok, nevermind. Could you bring him? »**

She rolled her eyes and sighed, apparently more annoyed by something else than Hank's presence nor request.

**« He'sn't here. Gotta be at his toy-boy's place. »**

Hank didn't know what infuriated him more. The fact that Connor hated him for reasons apparently. The fact that Connor had a sex friend to get laid, or the fact that Connor didn't give a shit about anything about them... Connor was young and attractive, sure he took advantage of this... But Hank was pissed to think about him with someone else, like every time when he had a girlfriend or boyfriend.

**« Forget I even came here. »**

Hank was leaving, but North interpellated him.

**« Hey, Hank... For what it's worth... I think you're right. You two need a deep talk. I know Connor needs to say things... But I'm not sure he will ever do the first step. »**

He looked at her. A sweet, wonderful woman but... He wouldn't do it another time.

**« Too bad he'sn't here. »**

**« I'm sure you too, need to say things to him. Try, harder. Please. »**

But all she could do was watch Lt Anderson leaving without second-guessing. Stubborn with stubborn, she knew they wouldn't talk. But she couldn't do much about it. She'll again, try with Connor, to motivate him, but, she could feel the waste of time.

As for Hank, he was frustrated. He went home, alone, without having the chance to talk to Connor... But sure, he wouldn't try anymore. If Connor was busy getting laid with some fuckers, then good for him. He was so heartbroken again by what North told him. Connor was pissed, with reasons he couldn't even think of, yet he's having time of his life with strangers, in bed. Thinking about this, always made him think about their kiss. About how close he was for a split second. He was so close to becoming more than what they were, and now they're nothing left between them. He hated himself, he hated Connor and his sexy lips, Connor and his handsome bare chest engraved in his mind forever... knowing that someone else had the privilege to see him come, moan, and be at peace. Yup, these were reasons to go back to his house and kept getting drunker and drunker until he passed out.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, again I'm sorry for the delay. I always had trouble with deadlines and with no idea what to write, it was harder xD. But, at least this chapter is done, a new character was added... And... you'll see more of him in the story. You'll see more of plenty of characters too, but ... I won't say more about all of this ^^ Take care of you, hope you're happy 3 Sending you love and goods vibes :3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this fanfic, as much I enjoy writing it... and... It won't be pretty (the fic).
> 
> If you have some questions, comments, or anything else, I'm open to private message, or review. Just suits yourself.
> 
> Sending you love... and Sorry I don't know how many times I'll take to write the second chapter of this fic... but you can be sure I'm writing right now because I love this story that I have in my mind. (And to be fair, you can see a lot of unfinished french fanfic on my account... I still don't lose hope of finishing them one day xD.)
> 
> Yeap, I'm a little obsessed by Hankcon right now.  
> Love. See you soon, I hope 3
> 
> .


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